89 - MOTHER WOUND / MOMMY ISSUES- Pt. The Toxic, Attacking or 'Tidy' Mother
May 8, 2023
42:53
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Louise and Stephanie discuss the mother wound, exploring its deep roots through generations and how it manifests as toxic, critical, or OCD mothers. They also touch on the connection between identity and motherhood, addressing the topics of forgiveness and when it is the right route of action. The significance of the mother wound is emphasized in shaping self-esteem, body image, and relationships, highlighting the need to address toxic parent relationships. This often overlooked topic explores its impact on self-connection and relationships with others, and how it is intimately connected to the father wound.
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Quick takeaways
The podcast highlights the impact of the mother wound on self-image, self-esteem, control, and eating habits.
The podcast discusses the dynamics of the attacking mother and how her criticism can affect self-esteem and relationships.
Deep dives
The Mother Wound and Its Impact on Relationships
The podcast episode explores the concept of the mother wound and its significance in shaping our self-image and relationships. It highlights that while the father-daughter relationship often receives more attention, the mother-daughter relationship can be equally important. The mother wound can stem from enmeshment or disconnection, with influences on self-esteem, perfectionism, control, body image, and eating habits. It also delves into how the mother wound can affect female friendships, views on women, and self-judgment within a patriarchal society. The episode emphasizes the potential impact on one's internal voice and the need for individual healing and self-connection. It acknowledges that not all mothers are abusive or toxic, but it explores the complexities and challenges faced by those with difficult maternal relationships.
The Attacking Mother: Criticism and Control
The podcast discusses the dynamic of the attacking mother, characterized by anger, criticism, and passive-aggressiveness. It acknowledges that criticism may stem from the mother's projection of her own fears and insecurities onto her child. The episode explores the impact of an attacking mother's critical voice on self-esteem and adult relationships. It delves into the challenging experience of feeling controlled and scrutinized, leading to resentment and a desire for individuality. While recognizing that parents are not perfect, the episode encourages mindful communication with children, emphasizing the importance of creating safe spaces where emotions are acknowledged and forgiveness is not forced.
Setting Boundaries with a Toxic Mother
The podcast highlights the significance of setting boundaries with a toxic mother when necessary. It acknowledges that some individuals may have experienced deeply damaging and abusive relationships with their mothers, resulting in a non-repairable mother wound. The episode emphasizes that individuals have the right to protect their emotional well-being by cutting off contact with an abusive or unaccountable mother. It addresses the societal pressure to maintain relationships with parents, highlighting that remothering oneself and seeking healing can be more valuable. The importance of surrounding oneself with supportive communities and forging healthier individual paths is also discussed.
Continuation of the Mother Wound: Absent and Overbearing Mothers
While not covered in this episode, the podcast acknowledges the need for a continuation in exploring the mother wound through absent and overbearing mothers. It recognizes that an absent mother may be emotionally or physically absent, impacting a child's sense of self and emotional connection. The overbearing mother, driven by her own insecurities, may control and limit a child's autonomy and individuality. These aspects of the mother wound will be explored in more detail in a future episode, continuing the conversation on maternal relationships and their influence on personal growth and self-discovery.
Move over Daddy Issues, Mommy Issues is in town - yet no one is talking about them. Today, Louise & Stephanie Therapy explore the Mother Wound. They discuss:
What the mother wound is, how it shows up differently to the father wound
How the mother wound runs deep through generations
The attacking mother, the critical or toxic mother
The OCD mother and the connection to cooking, cleaning and ironing
How mothers try to maintain control
The identity as a 'mother' and how tied people get tied to that
They also talk about the topics of forgiveness and when it is, and is not, the right route of action.
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