Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford and author of "Your Turn: How to Be an Adult," discusses redefining success beyond grades and test scores. She emphasizes the importance of unconditional love from parents to promote independence in children. The conversation touches on the dangers of over-involved parenting and the pressing need to teach essential life skills. Lythcott-Haims encourages embracing personal growth and adopting a growth mindset during the challenging transition to adulthood, fostering resilience in younger generations.
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insights INSIGHT
Over-Parenting's Harm
Over-parenting harms kids by hindering self-discovery and creating dependence.
"Checklist childhoods" prioritize achievements over self-efficacy and well-being.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Foster Self-Efficacy
Let kids experience natural consequences to develop self-efficacy.
Encourage them to handle tasks independently, fostering their problem-solving skills.
insights INSIGHT
Chores and Success
Chores build a "pitch in" mindset crucial for professional success, according to the Harvard Grant Study.
This mindset fosters a sense of responsibility and initiative, valued in the workplace.
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In 'Your Turn: How to Be an Adult', Julie Lythcott-Haims provides a groundbreakingly frank guide to adulthood. The book focuses on the process of becoming an adult, rather than adhering to traditional markers such as finishing education, getting a job, leaving home, marrying, and having children. Lythcott-Haims offers compassion, personal experience, and practical strategies for living a more authentic adulthood. She includes interviews with diverse individuals who have successfully launched their adult lives, emphasizing the importance of personal integrity, moral behavior, self-compassion, and self-love. The book encourages readers to take an active role in shaping their lives, learn to fend for themselves, and build meaningful relationships and careers[3][4][5].
With passion and wry humor, the former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford makes the case for parents to stop defining their children's success via grades and test scores. Instead, she says, they should focus on providing the oldest idea of all: unconditional love. After the talk, stick around for a discussion on how you can be a grown-up, too, as Elise and Julie discuss her new book, "Your Turn: How to Be an Adult." This episode is part of the TED Talks Daily summer book club, a series featuring talks and interviews to inspire your next great read. And if you'd like to learn more from Julie, you can enroll in her new TED Course, which builds off the ideas from her book. Whether you're just launching your adult life or finally giving yourself permission to question what adulthood even is, you'll learn practical strategies to build a future that fits you. Enroll at tedtalks.social/bestself.
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