Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy, founder of Good Inside and a mother of three, believes every child is "good inside" despite bad behavior. She discusses the importance of setting clear boundaries while understanding children's emotions. By allowing kids to express disappointment, sadness, or frustration, parents can help them build resilience. Dr. Kennedy shares playful strategies to nurture curiosity and emotional regulation, encouraging a more supportive and understanding parenting approach.
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insights INSIGHT
Children Are "Good Inside"
Every child is "good inside," even during bad behavior moments.
Misbehavior signals unmet needs or missing skills rather than inherent badness.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Balance Boundaries with Validation
Set clear, sturdy boundaries to keep kids safe but expect pushback.
Always validate their feelings, showing you understand without changing the boundary.
insights INSIGHT
True Boundaries Require Parent Action
Boundaries are about what the parent will do, not what the child must do.
Requests differ from boundaries; true boundaries involve parent action regardless of child's response.
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In 'Good Inside,' Dr. Becky Kennedy shares her parenting philosophy, which focuses on building strong relationships with children rather than merely shaping their behavior. The book critiques traditional parenting methods like reward charts and time-outs, which fail to address children's complex emotional needs. Dr. Kennedy provides actionable strategies and troubleshooting for various parenting challenges, such as sibling rivalry, separation anxiety, and tantrums. Her approach helps parents move from uncertainty and self-blame to confidence and sturdy leadership, emphasizing the importance of compassion and understanding in parenting.
How to Change
The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
Katy Milkman
In this ground-breaking book, Katy Milkman reveals a proven path to help readers move from where they are to where they want to be. Drawing on her original research and the work of her world-renowned scientific collaborators, Milkman shares strategic methods for identifying and overcoming common barriers to change, such as impulsivity, procrastination, and forgetfulness. The book offers innovative approaches like 'temptation bundling,' using timely reminders, and creating 'set-it-and-forget-it systems' to make change more achievable. It emphasizes the importance of tailoring solutions to specific roadblocks and using science to stack the deck in favor of successful change.
Clinical psychologist Dr Becky Kennedy thinks every child is “good inside” even when they’re behaving badly. So to tackle tantrums or rule-breaking, she argues that parents must set clear boundaries for acceptable behaviour, but also seek to understand why their children are misbehaving.
If a child is acting "badly" because they are disappointed, sad, frustrated, jealous, or uncomfortable, then a parent's job is to help their kid deal with those feelings and build up more resilience to common emotions that they'll experience throughout life.
This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents.
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos 
