The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

#194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap

May 21, 2024

01:20:06

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Abigail Shrier challenges the normalization of therapy for kids, highlighting how it may exacerbate problems. She discusses the societal acceptance of therapy, the negative impacts of labeling ordinary behaviors as disorders, and the blurred lines between parental authority and friendship. Shrier advocates for fostering resilience and independence in children, questioning the reliance on therapy in education systems and the importance of teaching values like reliability and community building.

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Quick takeaways

Overemphasis on happiness and feelings in therapy can lead to unhappiness and dependency on addressing emotions rather than developing resilience in children.

Therapeutic interventions that prioritize ideologies over individual needs risk worsening existing symptoms, highlighting the need for a redesign of therapy and parenting approaches.

Fostering resilience in children involves promoting independence, setting high expectations, and valuing failure as opportunities for growth, emphasizing the role of parental authority.

Deep dives

Harmful Impact of Overemphasizing Feelings in Therapy

Teaching kids that their feelings are the most important thing can lead to unhappiness. Overreliance on therapy focused on emotions can undermine a child's ability to handle distress independently. Excessive emphasis on happiness as a goal may paradoxically result in unhappiness. The speaker warns against bad therapy that perpetuates a cycle of dependency on addressing feelings rather than developing resilience.

Raising Mentally Unstable Children

02:05

Social/emotional learning

01:22

High Standards and Expectations Build Kids' Sense of Responsibility

01:46

Treatment dependency

01:16

Introduction

6min

Exploring Factors Influencing Emotional Dysregulation in Children

4min

Parenting in the Age of Experts

20min

The Complexities of Therapy in Education Systems

14min

Challenging High Expectations and Mental Health in Children

22min

Fostering Resilience and Independence in Children

12min

Defining Success as a Parent and Fostering Strong Values

3min

Over the last decade, therapy has become the de facto solution to solve all sorts of problems for all sorts of people. Everyone has slowly accepted that therapy is normal and a net benefit to society.

But instead of helping kids work through difficult circumstances, what if it's just making the problems worse? That's what Abigail Shrier thinks is happening, and in this conversation, she reveals some surprising reasons why.

Shane and Shrier discuss the real reason therapy is "bad," how we got to this point of acceptance as a culture, and what you can do as a parent to get back to normalcy. Shrier also shares her experiences with lifelong therapy patients, who should actually be in therapy, and the one thing that makes someone a successful parent.

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(00:00) Intro

(05:44) Inverse: How do we raise mentally unstable kids?

(08:29) How we got to now

(11:45) Bad therapy...or just social trends?

(13:21) Being your kids' friend: good or bad?

(15:55) The parenting type that raises the BEST kids
(21:35) Is this all the parents' fault?

(29:53) Is "Bad Therapy" a world-wide problem?

(32:57) Talk to your kids' therapist about these things

(42:09) The importance of facing adversity in childhood

(47:06) Can we blame grad schools for all of this?

(49:14) On technology and social media

(51:03) Schools should "never" have gotten involved in mental health

(54:43) Did COVID accelerate "bad therapy?"

(56:07) How to return to normalcy

(58:21) Why Shane shares negative YouTube comments with his kids

(01:01:23) Shrier's experience being "cancelled"

(01:04:13) On prestige media

(01:07:47) Small steps parents can take to return to normal

(01:11:02) Dealing with schools saying one thing and parents saying another

(01:13:32) Why is the silent majority...silent?

(01:16:32) If this continues, what happens?

(01:18:19) What makes someone a successful parent?

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The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

#194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

Harmful Impact of Overemphasizing Feelings in Therapy

Examining Failings in Current Therapy Practices

Parental Authority and Resilience Building

Preventative Mental Health and Liberating Kids from Overreliance on Therapy

Concerns about School Counselors Providing Therapy to Students

Promoting Resilience and Independence in Children

Raising Mentally Unstable Children

Social/emotional learning

High Standards and Expectations Build Kids' Sense of Responsibility

Treatment dependency

Get the Snipd
podcast app

AI-powered
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Discover
highlights

Save any
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The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

#194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

Harmful Impact of Overemphasizing Feelings in Therapy

Examining Failings in Current Therapy Practices

Parental Authority and Resilience Building

Preventative Mental Health and Liberating Kids from Overreliance on Therapy

Concerns about School Counselors Providing Therapy to Students

Promoting Resilience and Independence in Children

Raising Mentally Unstable Children

Social/emotional learning

High Standards and Expectations Build Kids' Sense of Responsibility

Treatment dependency

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