8 Simple Mindset Shifts to Feel Gratitude Even When Your Life Isn’t Where You Want it To Be

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Nov 28, 2025

Explore the less shiny side of gratitude that helps during tough times. Jay Shetty shares how true gratitude can coexist with pain. Learn to acknowledge both joy and struggle without guilt. Discover practical habits like taking 10-second pauses to appreciate the moment and borrowing joy from others when you feel low. He emphasizes the importance of thanking your past self for resilience. This approach aims to steady you in life's messiness, proving that there's always something to hold onto.

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INSIGHT

Gratitude Beside Pain

Gratitude is not denial and doesn't require pretending everything is fine.
True gratitude sits beside pain and lets you hold both realities at once.

ADVICE

Use 'Even Though' And 'And'

Start gratitude sentences with "even though" to hold two truths at once.
Replace "at least" with "and" to keep your experience whole and integrated.

ADVICE

Two-Column Gratitude Exercise

Write two columns listing what's hard and what's still good to integrate feelings.
If you can't feel grateful, notice one small thing that doesn't hurt today.

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In this episode, Jay talks about a side of gratitude we rarely acknowledge, the kind that isn’t shiny or uplifting, but the kind that helps when life feels heavy, complicated, or far from what you expected. He explains how, for years, he treated gratitude like something meant to fix pain or override his feelings, and how that mindset only added pressure instead of bringing any real peace.

Jay talks about what real gratitude actually feels like, not the kind that tries to cancel out your struggles, but the kind that can sit beside them. He shares how acknowledging both things at once, what hurts and what’s still good, builds real resilience. Jay breaks down why phrases like “at least…” shut your feelings down, while using “even though…” or “and…” keeps you present with your emotions instead of pushing them away.

Jay also shares the small, practical habits that help him reconnect with gratitude when it feels far away: paying attention to what stayed instead of what disappeared, taking 10-second pauses to notice something good in the moment, borrowing someone else’s joy when you can’t access your own, and writing a thank-you note to the version of you who got through the harder seasons.

Jay reminds us that gratitude isn’t supposed to hide what’s hard, it’s meant to help you steady yourself. It’s the quiet admission: “Life is messy, and there’s still something I can hold onto.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How to Stop Using Gratitude to Mask Your Feelings

How to Hold Pain and Gratitude Together

How to Notice What Stayed, Not What Left

How to Use 10-Second Pauses to Reset

How to Borrow Gratitude When You Can’t Feel It

How to Thank the You Who Survived

You’re not doing gratitude wrong, you’re just learning to do it honestly. Keep showing up with awareness, gentleness, and patience. You’re not rebuilding from zero, you’re rebuilding from experience.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty.

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:00 How to Practice Gratitude

02:39 Gratitude Without Hiding Your Emotions

06:46 Don’t Use Gratitude As Your Escape

09:17 Focus On What You Still Have

11:11 Finding Gratitude in the Gaps

14:43 Gratitude Reset: Take A 10 Second Pause

18:26 The Art Of Borrowing Gratitude

21:15 Stay Thankful To Your Past Self

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