Grief and guilt: losing a loved one to suicide

Jan 31, 2026

Karl Andriessen, a suicide bereavement researcher, and Blake Johnston, former pro surfer turned mental health advocate, talk about loss after suicide. They explore shock, complicated grief, effects on families and children, why prevention hasn’t reduced rates, cultural impacts, and rebuilding life through community, routines and advocacy.

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ANECDOTE

Close Surfing Bond With Father

Blake Johnston describes loving beach memories and a close bond with his father through surfing.
That relationship made his father's later suicide a profound shock that reshaped his life for years.

INSIGHT

Suicide Bereavement Is Uniquely Complicated

Suicide bereavement often produces unanswered questions, self-blame and stigma that complicate grief.
Those factors can prolong distress and make recovery more difficult than other types of bereavement.

ANECDOTE

The Moment He Learned Of The Suicide

Blake recounts the phone call that told him his father had taken his own life and the surreal drive home.
He describes seeing his father on a gurney and feeling both deep sadness and a strange sense that his father looked at peace.

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When Blake's dad died by suicide, it came as a complete shock. Overwhelming grief, combined with confusion and guilt — it uprooted his life. The loss made him rethink his own mental health, and eventually, channel that into the community — fundraising and taking on three world records.

Today, we're talking about suicide bereavement; how it can affect family and friends, its long lasting impacts on mental health, and how to support someone going through the experience. It can be really tricky to talk about suicide, so how do you tackle talking to kids about this kind of loss?

Also, why are rates of suicide not going down, despite millions spent on prevention? And why do some people experience something called post-traumatic growth while others don't?

This episode discusses suicide, grief and mental illness in depth. Please take care while listening.

Guests:

Blake JohnstonFormer pro surferSurf CoachMental Health advocateAuthor, Swellbeing

Associate Professor Karl AndriessenPrincipal Research Fellow, Centre for Mental Health and Community WellbeingMelbourne School of Population and Global HealthUniversity of Melbourne

Tanja HirvonenClinical psychologistChief Executive Officer, ThirriliBoard Director, Australian Indigenous Psychologists AssociationBoard Director, Black Dog Institute

Credits:

Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
Producer: Rose Kerr
Senior producer: James Bullen
Sound engineer: Harvey O'Sullivan

Thanks to freesound.org users tim.kahn and juskiddink

Support and resources:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Thirrili 1800 805 801

13 YARN 13 92 76

Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

StandBy Support 1300 727 247

Roses in the ocean

More information:

Coping With A Parent's Suicide

Alarming rise in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander suicide rates

A better way: suicide prevention in First Nations communities

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.