589 - Exploring codependency in relationships (w/ Mark Groves)
Apr 18, 2024
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Relationship expert Mark Groves discusses codependency in relationships, 'The Great Disconnect' in dating, and the importance of maintaining independence. He also explores triggers, open communication, and mindfulness in relationships while promoting his new book 'Liberated Love'.
Recognize the difference between compromise and self-abandonment in relationships.
Address the 'great disconnect' by embracing authenticity and avoiding persona-based interactions.
Promote interdependency in relationships through creating a 'sacred pause' for mutual growth and understanding.
Deep dives
Understanding Codependency
Codependency, as discussed in the podcast, goes beyond traditional enabling behaviors and self-abandonment. It captures any relational dynamic where individuals prioritize safety from something or someone at the expense of their own needs and well-being. The distinction between compromise and self-abandonment is highlighted, emphasizing the importance of recognizing when compromise serves the relationship without sacrificing one's core needs.
Navigating the Great Disconnect
The concept of the 'great disconnect' delves into the gap between one's true self and the persona presented in relationships. This disconnect can lead individuals to hide aspects of themselves, causing a gradual erosion of identity. The episode explores how childhood experiences shape adaptive strategies, influencing individuals to adapt behaviors that may not align with their true desires, ultimately impacting their sense of self.
Embracing Interdependency and the Sacred Pause
The podcast advocates for interdependency in relationships, emphasizing the balance between overt collectivism and individuation. The notion of a 'sacred pause' is introduced as a period for couples to bring truth, independence, and clarity to the relationship. This space allows for mutual exploration of alignment, addressing conflicts, and establishing clear agreements, fostering growth, repair, and a deeper understanding of individual needs within the relationship.
Building Mutual Positive Regard in Relationships
Mutual positive regard is crucial in relationships, based on respect for each other's needs, wants, and desires. This mutual respect forms the foundation of a relationship, encouraging contribution based on recognizing and supporting each other's requirements.
Finding Balance between Discernment and Possibility in Relationships
Balancing discernment and potential in relationships is essential for healthy connections. Starting a relationship at an optimal level rather than extremes allows for the observation of evidence and proof points. Embracing mutual positive regard, being discerning yet optimistic, and grounding in honesty and mindfulness enhance relationship dynamics.
In this episode, I'm joined by Mark Groves and we talk about what codependency really is, "The Great Disconnect" in dating (why we sometimes hide aspects of ourselves to receive love), independence, and much more. You can find Mark's new book "Liberated Love" anywhere you buy books.
My NEW journal, "The BOLD Journal" is available now on Amazon!
Instagram: @case.kenny
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