It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Let a Win Be a Win in High Conflict

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May 11, 2023
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ADVICE

Redefine Winning

  • In high-conflict situations, focus on progress, not winning an argument or having the last word.
  • Recognize small steps forward as wins, avoiding pushing for complete resolution immediately.
ANECDOTE

Unintentional Sabotage

  • Bill Eddy recounts a divorce mediation where progress was sabotaged by a lawyer's seemingly innocuous question.
  • The question, "Don't you feel better now?", triggered the high-conflict individual to negate the entire session's progress.
ADVICE

Praise vs. Emotions

  • Validate progress by giving praise instead of opening up emotional discussions.
  • Avoid comments that could trigger emotional flooding or all-or-nothing thinking in high-conflict individuals.
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