Heal Your Heartbreak #296 Navigating In-Law Dynamics and Boundaries with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
Nov 18, 2025
Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, a couples therapist and author of You, Your Husband, and His Mother, offers powerful insights on managing in-law dynamics. She introduces her five-step Vault Method designed to strengthen partnerships against outside influences. The conversation covers the impact of toxic family patterns, the distinctions between boundaries and requests, and practical strategies for handling family gatherings. Tracy emphasizes the importance of open communication about values and expectations, especially for couples navigating the complexities of in-law relationships.
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Why The Book Exists
- Dr. Tracy wrote the book because couples lack a resource to handle extended-family influences together.
- She developed the five-step Vault Method to help couples build team-based strategies when partners won't attend therapy.
Four Perspectives In The Dynamic
- The dynamic includes four perspectives: the extended family member, the partner, you, and the couple system.
- Clarifying each perspective reveals hidden expectations and helps couples co-create solutions.
Supportive Mother-In Example
- Tracy names a supportive mother-in type who emphasizes we and honors boundaries while offering needs without personalizing them.
- She highlights real examples where mothers-in-law show respect and care, countering the monster-in-law trope.
