Conversations

The Rajneeshees and me — why Martina thought she needed a guru to heal

Dec 9, 2025
Dr. Martina Zangger, a counsellor, psychotherapist, and author of *Not My Shame*, shares her journey from a troubled childhood to a decade in the Rajneesh movement. She candidly discusses her experiences of trauma, joining the cult to seek healing, and the harsh realities of life in the Oregon ashram. Martina reveals the challenges she faced, including exploitation and the abrupt departure of the guru. Through her story, she highlights themes of survival, self-rediscovery, and the complexity of motherhood after enduring deep personal pain.
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ANECDOTE

Childhood Caretaking Defined Her Early Years

  • Martina cared for her suicidal mother from age seven, checking pill bottles and fearing she would die.
  • This early role forced Martina into responsibility and shaped her later seeking of safety and healing.
ANECDOTE

Books Sparked Immediate Devotion

  • Martina discovered Rajneesh after receiving his book at a rebirthing workshop and devoured it in two days.
  • She believed Rajneesh would magically heal her and followed him seeking escape from pain.
INSIGHT

Active Catharsis Led To Real Silence

  • Rajneesh's active meditations prioritized bodily catharsis to quiet the overthinking Western mind.
  • The sequence moved from chaotic breathing to silence, culminating in a genuine stillness.
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