220. “I carry the baby, the bills, and the stress”

55 snips

Aug 5, 2025

Monica and Michael face the storms of new parenthood and financial stress, with Monica feeling overwhelmed as she shoulders most responsibilities. Michael grapples with shame over past financial missteps, including an eviction. After a significant salary increase, he struggles to communicate effectively, leaving Monica questioning their partnership. The discussion unveils their emotional disconnect and the need for transparency as they navigate financial planning together, highlighting the importance of honest communication to rebuild trust.

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INSIGHT

Swiss Army Knife Mentality Limits Connection

Michael's 'Swiss army knife' mentality causes him to focus on work but not on big-picture communication.
This mindset leads to missed celebrations and a lack of emotional connection with Monica.

ANECDOTE

Airport Food Spending Led To Eviction

Michael spent $50 a day on airport food while working long shifts.
This expense contributed to his eviction, which he initially hid from Monica.

ADVICE

Celebrate Financial Wins Authentically

When sharing financial wins, include a smile and express what it means to you.
This builds connection and helps your partner celebrate with you.

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Monica (36) and Michael (33) have been married just over a year and are navigating the pressures of new parenthood—but Monica feels like she’s doing it alone. She pays the rent, covers childcare, and works a demanding job, while Michael juggles three jobs and carries shame about his income and past financial mistakes—including an eviction he never told her about.

Despite a recent 50% salary increase, Michael didn’t share the news, reinforcing Monica’s sense that she’s carrying the emotional and financial load. Can Ramit help them rebuild trust, communicate transparently, and step into a true financial partnership?

In this episode we uncover:

• Michael’s quiet shame about earning less

• How an eviction early in their relationship shattered Monica’s trust

• The $95K salary increase Michael never told her about

• Why Michael’s “Swiss Army knife” mentality is sabotaging their relationship

• What Monica really means when she says she wants a financial partner

• Why transparency is still a major hurdle

• The emotional gap in their relationship, and how it’s showing up in everything from birthday celebrations to debt payoff plans

• What finally shifts when Michael shares his debt-free timeline

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “I feel like a leech”

(00:18:28) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:25:56) “I got a 50% raise…and didn’t tell her”

(00:33:24) Why she’s always the last to know about his money

(00:42:59) The secret that shattered her trust early on

(00:46:26) He paid off half his debt—but still struggles to celebrate it

(01:00:03) Torn between faith and financial goals

(01:04:38) When earning more still isn’t enough

(01:26:25) Are they finally rowing in the same direction?

(01:35:17) Where are they now? Monica and Michael’s follow-ups

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Links mentioned in this episode

• Get tickets for my next live events—September 14 in Atlanta and September 26 in Los Angeles—at iwt.com/events

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