The Daily ‘Modern Love’: How to Stop Asking ‘Are You Mad at Me?’
146 snips
Aug 3, 2025 
Meg Josephson, a therapist and author of "Are You Mad at Me?", dives into the anxiety of people-pleasing and its roots in childhood. She talks about grappling with the fear of disapproval and how it shapes relationships. Josephson shares her realization in a Bed Bath & Beyond aisle that pleasing everyone eroded her sense of self. The conversation weaves in themes of longing for parental connection, emotional neglect, and the impact on adult life. Personal anecdotes reveal the struggle for validation and the journey toward self-discovery.
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Roots of 'Are You Mad at Me?'
- The "are you mad at me?" question often stems from deep shame and the repression of anger and resentment.
- People learn to suppress anger to keep peace, but this causes emotional buildup manifested as resentment.
Understanding the Fawn Response
- The fawn response is an unconscious survival mechanism to placate perceived threats through appeasement.
- Overuse of fawning leads to exhaustion, burnout, and loss of self identity.
Towel Aisle Identity Crisis
- Meg Josephson struggled to choose a towel color because she had lost her sense of preference from constantly people-pleasing.
- She later found clarity in her tastes, like favoring olive green towels, reflecting reclaimed identity.
