Coming Out Late
Ep. #123: Sex, Pleasure & Relationship w/Whitni Miller, Part 1
Mar 25, 2024
Whitni Miller, a sex and pleasure coach, discusses topics such as intentional monogamy, reducing inner shame, pleasure coaching, and the importance of prioritizing feeling good in relationships. The podcast explores the impact of shame culture on body exploration, the difference between performance and pleasure sex, and an exercise to reduce inner shame. Whitney emphasizes the need for curiosity over self-judgment and creating a safe space for open and vulnerable discussions about sex.
45:45
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Quick takeaways
- Pleasure-based sex focuses on authentic connection, mindfulness, and subjective enjoyment, while performance-based sex prioritizes outward appearances and societal expectations.
- Mindfulness practices and journal exercises can help reduce inner shame, challenge limiting beliefs about sex, and promote self-compassion and acceptance.
Deep dives
Understanding Pleasure-Based Sex vs. Performance-Based Sex
In the podcast, Whitney delves into the distinction between pleasure-based sex and performance-based sex. She highlights that performance-based sex involves outward appearances of pleasure without true connection to one's body or genuine enjoyment. This can lead to faking orgasms, disempowering emotional processing, and missed opportunities for authentic connection. On the other hand, pleasure-based sex emphasizes the subjective experience of pleasure, where an orgasm is not central or required, viewing it as a bonus rather than a necessity. Whitney emphasizes the importance of communication, presence, and the exploration of pleasure beyond societal norms.
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