#142 - The Secrets of Reading People | Blake Eastman
Jan 10, 2023
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Guest Blake Eastman, an expert in reading nonverbal behavioral patterns, shares his expertise on reading people. Topics include the importance of cues and nonverbal behavior, the myth of 93% nonverbal communication, and the power of cognitive empathy.
Developing behavioral awareness is the key to reading people, requiring attention to nonverbal cues, recognizing biases, and understanding context.
Communication involves both verbal and nonverbal aspects, emphasizing the importance of considering context, perception, and congruence between behavior and intended message.
Deep dives
Understanding the Importance of Behavioral Awareness
The key to reading people lies in developing behavioral awareness. By noticing and paying attention to the nonverbal cues and behaviors of others, we can gain insights into their thoughts and feelings. This involves understanding that our perception of behavior is influenced by our own biases and worldview. It is crucial to recognize these biases and be open to different perspectives when interpreting behavior. Additionally, context plays a significant role in understanding behavior. Unspoken cultural norms and expectations shape our reactions and interactions, and being aware of these invisible rings of context can enhance our ability to read behavior accurately.
Debunking the Myth of Nonverbal Communication
Contrary to popular belief, the idea that 93% of communication is nonverbal is a misleading myth. While nonverbal cues play a role in communication, it is not the sole or majority factor. Communication encompasses more than just nonverbal behavior; it includes the content of what is being said as well. Therefore, it is important to consider both verbal and nonverbal aspects when interpreting communication. Rather than focusing solely on deciphering specific nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions or body movements, it is more valuable to understand the person's context, perception, and congruence between their behavior and their intended message.
The Complexity of Poker Tells
Contrary to the traditional notion of poker tells, where players exhibit specific behaviors when they have strong or weak hands, reading behavior at the poker table is much more nuanced. Skilled poker players take into account various factors, such as arousal, perception, and context to make informed decisions. Behaviors associated with arousal, like changes in breathing or hand movements, differ from player to player and cannot be universally interpreted. Additionally, the focus should be on concealment strategies rather than specific tells. Understanding how individuals reduce arousal and spotting incongruence between behavior and intentions are key to gaining insights into poker players' strategies.
The Power of Cognitive Empathy
A crucial skill to improve personal and societal interactions is cognitive empathy. Cognitive empathy involves understanding the reasons behind someone's emotions or states, rather than simply recognizing or sharing their emotions. By developing cognitive empathy, individuals can form deeper connections, navigate social situations more effectively, and make better decisions. It requires asking questions and seeking to understand why people perceive and react the way they do, instead of making quick judgments. Cultivating cognitive empathy offers a powerful tool for understanding, connecting, and collaborating with others.
If you could have the magical power to read people, what they were thinking and feeling, would you want that ability? I imagine it’d be a mixed blessing. There are times when we really want to be able to read people better. And… there may be times when ignorance is bliss!
Regardless, it is important to improve our skills at following cues, reading nonverbal behavioral patterns, and finding relevant ways to factor in context to better understand people, as you’ll soon hear.
My guest, Blake Eastman (https://www.nonverbalgroup.com/), describes three focal points of his life as: poker, psychology, and nonverbal behavior. He has taught at the college level, he has played poker professionally, and he’s coached professional poker players on how to read people to increase the likelihood of winning.
I am certain you will find him and his subject fascinating as I did!
So, listen in as Blake shares his expertise with me on reading people.
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