Danny Poelman, a certified life coach, talks about the concept of sexual relevance and how to interact with urges for porn in a more empowering way. The podcast explores strategies for dealing with porn urges, the importance of adopting a neutral mindset towards thoughts and feelings, and the benefits of working with a coach. Check out Danny's Instagram and website for more information.
Understanding sexual relevance can help change habits with porn by responding with compassion and curiosity to sexual thoughts.
Treating each urge as a separate event and recognizing extinction bursts can prevent self-judgment and indicate progress in retraining the brain.
Deep dives
Understanding Sexual Relevance
The podcast episode explores the concept of sexual relevance and how it can be helpful in changing habits with porn. The host shares a real client example to illustrate how understanding sexual relevance can lead to more compassionate and curious responses to sexual thoughts. By acknowledging that sexual thoughts are a natural part of the brain's prioritization system, individuals can learn to train their brains to see different things as sexually relevant and change their interactions with sexual thoughts and feelings.
Separating Urges and Extinction Bursts
The podcast emphasizes the importance of treating each urge as a separate event and understanding the concept of extinction bursts. By recognizing that urges to engage with porn may intensify temporarily, individuals can avoid self-judgment and see these bursts as signs of progress in retraining their brain. The host introduces the idea of a '10-minute rule' to manage urges effectively and shares how this approach has empowered the client to navigate urges more easily.
Redirecting Focus and Considering Coaching
The podcast concludes with a reminder to redirect focus towards desired thoughts and feelings rather than fixating on unwanted ones. The host encourages listeners to hire a coach to work through the process more efficiently, even if they are familiar with the tools and concepts discussed. The episode ends with a message of empowerment, self-love, and compassion, encouraging individuals to pursue their goals and change their brains.
Instead of the typical self-judgment many guys use when interacting with one of their urges for viewing porn, try this more neutral approach. A concept called "sexual relevance."
Also, a real client example of someone learning to interact with their urges in a more empowering way. A way that actually allows for change and retraining his brain to not want porn.
Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.
Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.
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