Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

How to Deal with a Narcissist with Ramani Durvasula

17 snips

Aug 26, 2019

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor, dives deep into the world of narcissism. She differentiates between narcissistic personality disorder and typical narcissistic behavior, shedding light on their emotional impacts. Listeners learn practical strategies to navigate relationships with narcissists, emphasizing boundaries and self-compassion. Dr. Ramani also discusses the societal implications of narcissism today and advocates for empathy amidst cultural fragmentation, making for a thought-provoking and insightful conversation.

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INSIGHT

NPD: Fragile Ego Beneath Grandiosity

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) rarely causes discomfort to the sufferer, making it different from disorders like depression.
Narcissists exhibit grandiosity and blame others, yet are deeply insecure, protecting a fragile ego constantly.

ADVICE

Manage Narcissists With Realistic Expectations

Don't engage or try to change a narcissist; maintain realistic expectations about their behavior.
Fulfill only necessary requests, don't defend yourself, and practice radical acceptance for your well-being.

ADVICE

Navigate Narcissistic Traits Thoughtfully

Identify which narcissistic traits in someone hurt your relationship more, especially lack of empathy.
Maintain realistic expectations and know your own vulnerabilities to navigate relationships better.

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Today we have the pleasure of speaking with a true expert on many of the topics we’ve exploring during our series on “Who Am I?”, including borderline personality disorder, sociopathy, and narcissism: Dr. Ramani Durvasula.

Dr. Ramani is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and expert on the impact of toxic narcissism. She is a Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and also a Visiting Professor at the University of Johannesburg.

She is the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist, and her new book, DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility will be coming out October 1st.

Today we explored a range of topics with Dr. Ramani including:

What distinguishes true NPD from someone just “being a jerk.”
Techniques for interacting with “10% narcissists” more effectively.
The importance of drawing clear boundaries.
The different places narcissism can come from, and the different ways we can interact with different kinds of narcissists.
Working with narcissism inside of our cultural framework.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price.

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Timestamps:

02:01: Where did your interest in narcissism come from?

04:27: The difference between someone who truly has NPD and someone who is just a jerk.

07:05: What is it like to be on the receiving end of someone who’s a narcissist?

09:04: Advice for those in a relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies.

15:56: The different places narcissism can come from, and the different ways we can respond to each type.

26:41: What can we do to avoid acquiring narcissistic traits, and how can we help our friends manage these traits more effectively?

30:43: Human evolution, social pressure, and narcissism.

41:07: If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing, what would you say?

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