#24: Special Episode: Behind the Scenes of our Relationship (w/ my partner Joel)
Sep 7, 2022
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In this special episode, the host is joined by her partner Joel to discuss their relationship, including how they met, their attachment styles, and love languages. They talk about navigating conflicts, past relationships, nurturing empathy, and understanding in relationships, as well as the challenges and rewards of building a secure relationship.
Stephanie and Joel prioritize personal growth and therapy for self-care and understanding in their relationship.
They have learned to navigate conflicts by giving each other space and then engaging in mature conversations.
The importance of understanding each other's love languages, such as acts of service and words of affirmation, is highlighted in their relationship.
Shared values, trust, and open communication contribute to building a strong foundation in Stephanie and Joel's relationship.
They view their relationship as a team effort, focusing on open communication, taking responsibility for behavior, and exploring personal stories.
Laughter, play, and fun play a significant role in their relationship, creating consistency and safety through shared rituals.
Deep dives
How they met
Stephanie and Joel met through Instagram, where Joel slid into Stephanie's DMs in a non-creepy way. They were friends for a while before developing a romantic relationship.
Attachment Styles
Stephanie and Joel were aware of attachment styles when they started dating. Stephanie, previously anxious attached, had done a lot of work on herself, while Joel, initially unfamiliar with attachment styles, discovered he had a fearful avoidant attachment style through Stephanie's quiz.
Conflict Resolution
Stephanie tends to pursue conflict resolution immediately, while Joel needs space before engaging in a mature conversation. They have learned to give each other space and then come back to discuss and resolve conflicts in a safe way.
Therapy and Personal Growth
Both Stephanie and Joel are in therapy and prioritize personal growth. They see therapy as a resource for self-care and a way to process and reframe their experiences. They believe in the importance of self-reflection, seeking outside perspectives, and learning not to make each other the enemy in their journey of personal and relational growth.
Love Languages
Stephanie's love languages include words of affirmation, physical touch, and acts of service. Joel identifies acts of service as his primary love language, emphasizing his commitment to doing small things to show love and care.
What Makes Their Relationship Work
Laughter, play, and fun are important elements of their relationship. Shared values, trust, love, respect, admiration, and support contribute to their strong foundation. They communicate openly, prioritize appreciation and recognition, and have built rituals that bring consistency and safety to their relationship.
Understanding the Meaning of 'Working on It'
Working on their relationship means being a team and tackling issues together instead of seeing it as an individual effort to change the other person. They value open communication, taking responsibility for behavior, giving each other feedback with understanding, and exploring the stories they tell themselves to maintain a safe, non-threatening environment.
Past Relationships
Stephanie has had multiple past relationships and openly talks about them, while Joel, coming from an avoidant background, had fewer relationships with a greater focus on independence. They have great relationships with their respective ex-partners and communicate openly about their past experiences.
Age Gap
Joel is five years older than Stephanie.
Almost Breaking Up
While they experienced initial challenges rooted in their attachment styles, they never reached the brink of breaking up. The knee-jerk reaction of breaking up from Joel's side, driven by fearful avoidance, dissipated as they developed trust and understanding in their relationship.
Relationship Q&A Summary
The podcast episode provides insights into Stephanie and Joel's relationship dynamics. It highlights how they met, their attachment styles, conflict resolution strategies, the importance of therapy and personal growth, their love languages, what makes their relationship work, and how they navigate past relationships and challenges together.
Conclusion
Stephanie and Joel's relationship is built on love, trust, mutual growth, open communication, and shared values. They prioritize personal and relational development, embrace challenges, and recognize the importance of laughter and rituals. Through therapy, understanding attachment styles, and giving each other space, they have created a safe and supportive environment for their relationship to thrive.
In this episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel to answer all of your questions about our relationship. We share everything from how we met to how we navigate conflict, our differing attachment styles and love languages, and what makes our relationship work.
If you enjoyed this episode, I'd be so grateful if you could leave a 5-star rating and a review! It really does help so much.
