Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Is It Our ADHD, OCD, and PTSD? Or Is It Us?
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Oct 6, 2025 An artist struggling with ADHD and a father grappling with anxiety share their challenges in navigating creativity and responsibility. Their conversation with Esther delves into the impact of labels on their relationship, revealing how they both feel trapped by past trauma and financial stress. She guides them to rethink their communication, emphasizing playfulness and rituals to rebuild trust. Their journey touches on the struggle for agency, balancing parenting, and the fear of disappointing one another while exploring a path to deeper connection.
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Transition To Parenthood Triggered Anxiety
- The couple describes becoming parents to an 18-month-old and the surge in anxiety and depression that followed.
- They also recount financial strain as she left paid work to pursue illustration while they navigated new roles.
Labels Can Oversimplify People
- Labels like ADHD, CPTSD, and autism help explain behavior but can collapse a person into a diagnosis.
- Esther warns that over-relying on jargon reduces curiosity and flattens relational complexity.
Caring Doesn’t Guarantee Trust
- They both care deeply but repeatedly feel the other does not trust their intentions.
- Esther highlights that expressed care and perceived trust often diverge in reactive couples.