The Examined Life

How do you get off the hedonic treadmill? [Geraldine DeRuiter]

Jun 13, 2024

Author Geraldine DeRuiter discusses the limitations of external achievements in resolving insecurities, impact of childhood experiences on adult drives, transformative power of vulnerability, and importance of recognizing moments of success. The conversation delves into navigating ambition, achieving goals, financial aspects of book publishing, and journey to discovering intrinsic happiness.

57:27

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Episode guests

Geraldine DeRuiter

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

External achievements cannot fully resolve deep-seated insecurities linked to childhood experiences.

Vulnerability and shared experiences are powerful tools for combating isolation and fostering connection.

Deep dives

Core Beliefs and Emotional Safety

Experiencing emotional safety as a core belief, the discussion delves into the impact of childhood experiences on present perceptions. Reflecting on how feelings of safety dictate actions, achievements can't fully satisfy deep-rooted anxieties. Through ideal parent meditations and creating safe spaces in the mind, the exploration seeks to address emotional security beyond physical boundaries.

Intro

2min

Navigating Ambition and Achieving Goals

2min

Reflections on Ambition and Achievements

13min

Chasing Money and Self-Worth on Wall Street

6min

Navigating Book Publishing Finances and Achieving Success

18min

Journey to Discovering Intrinsic Happiness

13min

Recognizing Common Ground and Expressing Gratitude

4min

Author Geraldine DeRuiter reached the dizzying heights of publishing her first book, then experienced the more muted satisfaction of her second. She’s grappled with the realization that external achievements can't resolve core belief of not being "good enough." We contemplate the limitations of external accomplishments in solving our deepest insecurities and the importance of recognizing and appreciating moments of success, even as the goalposts continually move. We cover the profound impact of childhood experiences on our adult drives and fears, the double-edged sword of ambition and the transformative power of vulnerability and human connection. [Episode 53]

Learn more about Geraldine:

• Geraldine's Website

• X/Twitter

• Instagram

• Meta Threads

References from the show:

• ⁠All Over the Place: Adventures in Travel, True Love, and Petty Theft⁠

• ⁠If You Can't Take the Heat: Tales of Food, Feminism, and Fury

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