Making Polyamory Work cover image

Making Polyamory Work

Forget the Spark with Emily Nagoski

Jun 25, 2024
Emily Nagoski, a renowned expert on sex in long-term relationships and author, reveals fascinating insights about intimacy. She challenges the myth of an elusive 'spark,' emphasizing the roles of mutual pleasure, empathy, and emotional safety. The conversation dives into how complex emotions like fear and grief can shape our relationships and perceptions of pleasure. Emily also discusses the importance of communication in addressing emotional needs, uplifting the idea that intimacy can thrive without solely relying on sexuality.
25:43

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • Responsive desire is essential in sexual relationships, highlighting the importance of emotional well-being over mere physical attraction.
  • Prioritizing pleasure, authenticity, and vulnerability in sexual experiences leads to greater satisfaction than chasing fleeting sparks of desire.

Deep dives

The Impact of Responsive Desire on Intimacy

Responsive desire plays a crucial role in sexual relationships, especially during times when partners may not feel immediately inclined toward intimacy. One participant shared their experience of falling asleep instead of engaging sexually, highlighting that emotional stress can overshadow physical attraction. This illustrates the challenge of needing more than just proximity to reignite sexual desire; intimate connections and emotional well-being must be prioritized. The conversation emphasizes that genuine desire often stems from a comfortable emotional state rather than mere physical closeness.

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