Three Powerful Questions That Transform Difficult Conversations | Jefferson Fisher EP 908
Mar 3, 2025
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Explore three transformative questions that can change the dynamics of difficult conversations. Learn how to acknowledge others' feelings with a disarming phrase, create space for deeper dialogue, and let concern bridge gaps. Discover the impact of authentic listening on relationships, and understand the importance of recognizing your own triggers to communicate confidently. The discussion reveals how mastering these tools can turn conflicts into opportunities for growth and connection.
Asking questions like 'Sounds like you have a reason for saying that' encourages open dialogue and understanding during conflicts.
Mastering assertiveness in communication can clarify personal boundaries and strengthen relationships, even in difficult conversations.
Deep dives
Effective Communication Techniques
Using effective communication techniques can significantly improve relationships, especially during challenging conversations. A crucial question to ask when someone is overwhelmed or stressed is, 'Sounds like you have a reason for saying that.' This question encourages the other person to share their feelings, creating a space for open dialogue. Additionally, employing phrases like 'Tell me more' or 'Are you okay?' fosters an environment where individuals feel heard and understood, ultimately leading to more productive interactions.
Assertiveness in Conversations
Many individuals struggle with assertiveness during conversations, which can hinder effective communication. Building control and confidence in one’s communication style is vital for expressing thoughts and feelings clearly. People often shy away from direct communication to avoid conflict, leading to misunderstandings and unresolved issues. Developing the courage to engage in challenging discussions not only clarifies personal boundaries but also strengthens connections with others.
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Transforming Difficult Conversations Through Empathy
Communication expert Jefferson Fisher shares the three most powerful questions to ask when someone is overreactive or overwhelmed. The first is Chris Voss's disarming phrase "Sounds like you have a reason for saying that," which acknowledges the person's perspective without judgment. The second is the seemingly simple yet profound invitation to "Tell me more," which Fisher explains creates space for people to fully express themselves before they can receive new information. The third question—"Are you okay?"—asked with genuine concern, can instantly defuse tension and create connection.
Lewis and Jefferson explore how mastering these communication tools, particularly "tell me more," can transform relationships by fostering deeper understanding during conflicts. They discuss the common mistake of lacking assertiveness in difficult conversations, with Jefferson emphasizing the importance of understanding your own triggers while communicating with confidence. Lewis candidly admits his past struggles with having challenging conversations, often choosing to keep peace rather than express his true feelings. Their conversation reveals how authentic listening without trying to fix problems creates powerful bonds that strengthen relationships over time.