In this heartfelt discussion, a man grapples with the aftermath of his first wife's tragic death, while his current wife supports him as a stepmother to his four children. Together, they explore the profound complexities of grief and the path to revitalizing their relationship. Esther Perel delves into the nuances of transitioning from mere survival to experiencing joy again, highlighting how trauma shapes familial bonds and the journey toward intimacy. Their candid reflections on love and connection showcase resilience and the power of understanding in healing.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Instant Family
The husband became an instant parent to four children after marrying their mother.
The children's first mother died by suicide.
insights INSIGHT
Survival to Revival
For six years, the couple primarily focused on survival after the wife's death.
Now, they're ready to shift from surviving to reviving their relationship.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Childhood Trauma
The husband's parents divorced when he was young, and his stepmother was abusive.
His mother wasn't present in his life during his early childhood, and he lived with his father.
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In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.
The state of affairs
Rethinking Infidelity
Esther Perel
In this book, Esther Perel delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of infidelity. She weaves real-life case stories with psychological and cultural analysis to understand why people cheat, even in happy marriages. Perel argues that affairs can provide a unique window into modern relationships, revealing our expectations, desires, and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. The book offers practical advice on how couples can heal from infidelity and potentially grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences.
This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. The suicide of his first wife left four traumatized children in its wake; she's spent six years putting the pieces back together. They're both ready to experience joy in their marriage, but can't quite figure out how. Esther coaches them through the difference between survival vs. revival, and how to live after loss.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel 
