The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

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NEW Body Language Expert: When You Do This You Look like A Loser...(Sorry But You Do)! This Is The Real Reason You're Still Single!

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Apr 10, 2025

Guest

Vanessa Van Edwards

Vanessa Van Edwards, founder of 'Science of People' and bestselling author, joins the discussion to unveil the secrets of likeability and dating skills backed by scientific research. She shares how to create compelling first impressions and the importance of body language in communication. Vanessa discusses the impact of small cues, like eye contact and warmth, on social interactions. She also explores the challenges of forming genuine connections in today’s fast-paced world and offers strategies for overcoming awkwardness and enhancing charisma.

02:10:14

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Episode notes

00:00 / 00:00

Breaking the Script

Break conversational scripts; avoid generic "How are you?" exchanges.
Inject humor or unique responses like rating your mood on a scale.

00:00 / 00:00

Positive Chemicals

Gift positive chemicals like dopamine, testosterone, and serotonin in conversations.
Ask "What have you been looking forward to?" to evoke excitement.

00:00 / 00:00

Online Impressions

Use unique opening words or phrases online instead of generic greetings.
Stand out by being the "red apple"—different but still fitting in.

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Unlocking Charisma: The Power of Communication

01:43 • 4min

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Cultivating Meaningful Connections

05:22 • 21min

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Making Memorable Impressions

26:44 • 23min

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Prioritizing Real Connections

49:35 • 10min

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Navigating Control and Networking Challenges

59:45 • 3min

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Connecting Through Conversation and Humor

01:03:01 • 17min

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The Art of Body Language

01:19:48 • 15min

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Navigating Personality in Relationships

01:34:46 • 17min

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Understanding Personality Traits and Hiring Insights

01:51:52 • 3min

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Personality Traits and Longevity

01:54:51 • 9min

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The Struggle Between Writing and Marketing in the Digital Age

02:03:42 • 2min

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Reflections on Community and Connection after a Landmark Episode

02:06:07 • 3min

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#1379

• Mentioned in 27 episodes

Captivate

The Science of Succeeding with People

Vanessa Van Edwards

In 'Captivate,' Vanessa Van Edwards shares shortcuts, systems, and secrets for taking charge of interactions at work, home, and in any social situation. This book provides simple, science-backed methods to solve people problems, such as how to work a room, read facial expressions, and make memorable conversations by generating the pleasure hormone dopamine in listeners. It aims to improve interpersonal intelligence, make a lasting first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in various situations like negotiations, interviews, and parties.

#29506

• Mentioned in 2 episodes

The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards

Thought-Provoking Questions for Meaningful Conversations

Steven Bartlett

These conversation cards are inspired by the 'Diary of a CEO' podcast and feature thought-provoking questions from leading experts and thought leaders. They are designed to foster deeper connections and meaningful conversations in various settings, including personal relationships and group gatherings.

#1402

• Mentioned in 27 episodes

Cues

Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication

Vanessa Van Edwards

In this book, Vanessa Van Edwards teaches readers how to convey power, trust, leadership, likeability, and charisma in every interaction. The book focuses on the tiny signals we send to others through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection. It provides practical advice on how to read and decode these cues, as well as how to encode positive cues to enhance communication. The book is filled with well-researched behavioral topics and real-life case studies, making it an indispensable guide for entrepreneurs, team leaders, young professionals, and anyone seeking to improve their social interactions and become more influential.

Can you make someone like you in seconds? Vanessa Van Edwards returns with the science-backed secrets of dating and likeability - tested in real-life dating scenarios for the very first time.

Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of Science of People, a platform dedicated to teaching the skills of communication, charisma, and leadership. She is the bestselling author of ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’.

00:00 Intro

03:02 How Important Is It to Master the Skill of Communication?

03:33 Are We Set in Our Ways? Is Charisma Genetic?

04:18 Different Types of Awkwardness in People

04:53 How to Make Friends – The 3 Core Friendship Values

06:37 How Do You Figure Out Your Core Friendship Values?

07:34 How Many People Has Vanessa Taught These Skills? And What Do They Want?

08:18 First Impressions

10:24 Profile Pictures

14:10 Add Cues for a Better First Impression

15:28 How Sunglasses Block Connection

16:21 More Good Cues for First Impressions

16:54 How Do I Make a Really Bad First Impression?

18:30 What We Need to Signal to Express Warmth

21:27 Breaking the Script

23:19 Master Communicators and the "Chemical Cocktail"

28:11 Online First Impressions

29:11 Be the Red Apple

30:17 How to Make an Impression on Zoom

32:08 The Story Toolbox

35:07 How Important Is Background on Zoom?

36:29 Where to Look on Zoom Calls

37:16 Date Experiments

43:09 Drivers and Passengers in Conversation

44:23 Micro Wins

45:05 Body Language That Indicates Attraction

49:35 Why Busyness Is Not a Mark of Success

51:16 The Jam Study – Too Many Choices

52:12 Prioritizing Self-Care Over Connection

53:08 Dating Checklists

54:23 Do We Get More Numb the More We Date?

55:32 Two Challenges If You're in a Funk or Feeling Lonely

58:26 Steve Being a Control Freak

01:00:14 Networking Events

01:00:55 Ads

01:09:20 Using the Word "Because" as a Leader

01:11:01 How Do We Know If Someone Likes Us?

01:14:20 What If You're Not a Funny Person?

01:16:09 Can You Learn to Be Funny?

01:16:57 Touch

01:18:10 Hacks for Being Funny

01:19:36 Channeling Other People

01:20:36 Microexpressions

01:21:37 Reading Fear in People's Faces

01:23:24 Seeing Disgust in People's Faces

01:25:09 How to Tell If Someone Is Angry Without Them Saying It

01:27:05 How to Tell When Someone Is Truly Happy

01:28:49 How to Tell If Someone Is Sad Even If They Don’t Say It

01:31:03 How to Tell If Someone Is Surprised

01:32:33 How to Tell If Someone Has Contempt Toward You

01:35:23 Can and Should We Change Our Personalities?

01:37:20 Steve's Personality Traits

01:38:49 Making Your New Partner Take a Personality Test

01:41:20 Conscientious People

01:57:05 Do Extroverts Have Better Immunity?

01:58:04 Personality Traits of Lifelong Singles

01:59:57 Should We Know Other People's Personality Types When We Meet Them?

02:01:38 Feeling Like the Vibe Is Off

02:03:31 What Are You Doing to Serve Others

Follow Vanessa:

Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/4i5lvOnaqSb

Website - https://g2ul0.app.link/6KQtfyqaqSb

You can find out more about Vanessa’s personality test, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/SnXJL6ntqSb

You can purchase Vanessa’s book, ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/L0YqrVvaqSb

The 1% Diary is back – limited time only:

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The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards (Second Edition):

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*NEW* Body Language Expert: When You Do This You Look like A Loser...(Sorry But You Do)! This Is The Real Reason You're Still Single!

Breaking the Script

Positive Chemicals

Online Impressions

NEW Body Language Expert: When You Do This You Look like A Loser...(Sorry But You Do)! This Is The Real Reason You're Still Single!