The evolution of marriage with Esther Perel | Design Matters with Debbie Millman

In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.

In this book, Esther Perel delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of infidelity. She weaves real-life case stories with psychological and cultural analysis to understand why people cheat, even in happy marriages. Perel argues that affairs can provide a unique window into modern relationships, revealing our expectations, desires, and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. The book offers practical advice on how couples can heal from infidelity and potentially grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences.

Stephanie Coontz's "Marriage, a History" provides a comprehensive overview of the evolution of marriage across different cultures and historical periods. The book challenges traditional notions of marriage as a timeless institution, revealing its adaptability and transformation over centuries. Coontz examines the social, economic, and political factors that have shaped marriage, highlighting its diverse forms and functions. She explores the changing roles of men and women within marriage and the impact of social movements on marital norms. The book offers a nuanced understanding of marriage's complexities and its ongoing evolution.