The BluePrint with Dr. Erik Korem

#515. The Science of Asking: How to Get to 'Yes’ | How Social Media Distorts our Perception of Influence with Vanessa Bohns

Sep 30, 2024

Dr. Vanessa Bohns, a social psychologist and author, dives into the hidden power of everyday interactions. She reveals why people often underestimate their influence and shares practical strategies for making effective requests. The discussion highlights the impact of social media on our perception of influence and the crucial difference between compliance and true consent. Bohns emphasizes approaching interactions with the assumption of getting a 'yes,' showcasing how this mindset can transform outcomes in relationships.

23:55

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Vanessa Bohns

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Quick takeaways

Many individuals underestimate their everyday influence, which can empower them to engage confidently and effectively in conversations.

Social media distorts perceptions of influence, causing individuals to compare themselves to a few high-profile influencers rather than recognizing their own potential.

Deep dives

Understanding the Power of Influence

Many people underestimate their ability to influence others in everyday interactions. This underestimation leads individuals to seek external resources for guidance on gaining influence, despite their inherent capacity to impact those around them. Research highlights that individuals often do not recognize the extent of their influence, which can manifest in various social scenarios, such as changing the mood in a room or affecting others' opinions over time. Understanding this innate potential can empower individuals to engage more confidently in conversations and make requests without fearing rejection.

Intro

3min

Understanding Influence and Communication

13min

Navigating Influence: The Dual Edge of Persuasion in Business

2min

Navigating the Complexity of Consent and Compliance

3min

Navigating Consent and Influence in the Digital Age

2min

Do you ever feel like your voice isn't heard or your ideas don't matter? You might have much more influence than you realize. Dr. Erik Korem sits down with Dr. Vanessa Bohns, social psychologist and author of "You Have More Influence Than You Think," to explore the hidden power of everyday interactions, and the science behind asking for what you want.

In this episode, you'll discover:

Why we often underestimate our influence on others
Practical strategies for asking for what you want and getting results
How to navigate the fine line between compliance and true consent
The impact of social media on our perception of influence
Ways to use your newfound understanding of influence to improve your relationships

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Quotable moments:

"We influence people all the time every day. You walk into a room and you change the tenor of the room." - Dr. Vanessa Bohns

"People are going to listen to me, but it's not going to be immediate. It's not going to always be so obvious." - Dr. Vanessa Bohns

"Assume you're going to get a yes. If you go into the interaction assuming you're going to get a yes, you go into it with that nice tone." - Dr. Vanessa Bohns

"There's all these ways we could talk about to have more influence to get what you want, but there's also the concern about putting pressure, unnecessary pressure on people." - Dr. Vanessa Bohns

"We're looking at how being at that moment of signature, if you really feel like you're truly consenting and know what you're agreeing to and how that affects these downstream outcomes." - Dr. Vanessa Bohns

ABOUT THE BLUEPRINT PODCAST:

The BluePrint Podcast is for busy professionals and Household CEOs who care deeply about their families, career, and health. Host Dr. Erik Korem distills cutting edge-science, leadership, and life skills into simple tactics optimized for your busy lifestyle and goals. Dr. Korem interviews scientists, coaches, elite athletes, entrepreneurs, entertainers, and exceptional people to discuss science and practical skills you can implement to become the most healthy, resilient, and impactful version of yourself.

On a mission to equip people to pursue audacious goals, thrive in uncertainty, and live a healthy and fulfilled life, Dr. Erik Korem is a High-Performance pioneer. He introduced sports science and athlete-tracking technologies to collegiate and professional (NFL) football over a decade ago. He has worked with the National Football League, Power-5 NCAA programs, gold-medal Olympians, Nike, and the United States Department of Defense.

Erik is an expert in sleep and stress resilience. He is the Founder and CEO of AIM7, a health and fitness app that unlocks the power of wearables by providing you with daily personalized recommendations to enhance your mind, body, and recovery.

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