Squiggly Careers
#475 Ask the Expert: How to say no with Dr. Sunita Sah
Apr 15, 2025
Dr. Sunita Sah, an expert in defiance and decision-making and author of 'Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes', discusses the art of saying no in a compliance-driven world. She shares insights on the psychology behind defiance and the importance of assessing personal costs when refusing requests. Sunita emphasizes self-talk and the power of the pause to enhance decision-making. The conversation also touches on how fostering a culture of dissent can drive innovation and teamwork in organizations.
32:55
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Quick takeaways
- Dr. Sunita Sah emphasizes the importance of recognizing and vocalizing internal discomfort to facilitate assertive decision-making and alignment with personal values.
- The podcast highlights that consistent practice of small acts of defiance can empower individuals to develop the confidence needed to say no effectively.
Deep dives
The Challenge of Saying No
Saying no is often difficult due to our socialization that emphasizes compliance and obedience, which begins early in life. Many individuals have been conditioned to feel that complying with expectations is what makes them 'good' or acceptable, leading to a default response of agreement. This tendency to acquiesce can become ingrained in our behaviors, making it challenging to assert our own boundaries. Additionally, a psychological phenomenon known as 'insinuation anxiety' arises, where individuals fear that saying no may imply a lack of trust in others or an assertion of their incompetence, further complicating the ability to reject requests.
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