Squiggly Careers #475 Ask the Expert: How to say no with Dr. Sunita Sah
Apr 15, 2025
Dr. Sunita Sah, an expert in defiance and decision-making and author of 'Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes', discusses the art of saying no in a compliance-driven world. She shares insights on the psychology behind defiance and the importance of assessing personal costs when refusing requests. Sunita emphasizes self-talk and the power of the pause to enhance decision-making. The conversation also touches on how fostering a culture of dissent can drive innovation and teamwork in organizations.
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The Psychology of Saying No
- Saying no triggers "insinuation anxiety," the fear of implying distrust or incompetence in others.
- This makes rejecting requests or expectations psychologically difficult, especially with authority figures.
Five Stages of Defiance
- Progress through five stages to defy: feel tension, acknowledge it, vocalize concern, threaten non-compliance, then act.
- Each stage builds up your courage and commitment to align actions with values.
Build Defiance Through Practice
- Practice defiance by visualizing and scripting responses to past compliance situations.
- Frequent practice rewires your brain and builds confidence to defy effectively.
