
Savvy Psychologist How can you walk with grief instead of fighting it, with Hilary Bucell
Nov 12, 2025
Hilary Bucell, a licensed clinical social worker and grief expert, dives into the profound realm of loss and grief. She distinguishes between grief and depression, emphasizing that grief is the emotional response to loss. Hilary explores various types of loss, including ambiguous and disenfranchised grief. She introduces helpful tools like journaling and rituals for managing grief and shares the importance of self-compassion. Finally, she encourages listeners to 'move with grief' rather than fight it, using an analogy of navigating a riptide.
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Loss Versus Grief
- Loss is simply something that's gone and grief is the emotional response to that loss.
- Hilary Bucell defines grief as what we do with the thing that's gone, emphasizing distinction from the loss itself.
Ambiguous Losses Go Unseen
- Many losses are ambiguous, like dementia or children leaving for college, where the person is present but changed or absent in role.
- These ambiguous losses often go unrecognized and prevent people from getting permission to grieve.
Recognize Physical Grief Signals
- Notice physical and behavioral signs like loss of interest, crying, stomach upset, or tightness in the chest as grief indicators.
- Hilary Bucell reminds listeners that grief is physically felt in the body and can mimic anxiety symptoms.
