Stuck Not Broken

the Polyvagal Guide to Boundaries: Why You Need Both Safety AND Fight Activation

Jun 24, 2025
Discover how Polyvagal Theory clarifies the balance between safety and activation when setting healthy boundaries. Learn about the importance of compassionate boundary enforcement and emotional grounding. Explore how self-awareness and past experiences empower your interactions. The discussion emphasizes fostering personal accountability while navigating interpersonal dynamics. This insightful conversation also highlights the strength found in aligning boundaries with your core values.
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INSIGHT

Balance Safety and Fight Activation

  • Setting boundaries ideally balances ventral vagal safety with some fight activation but not anger or lashing out.
  • Safety grounding lets strong communication occur without losing connection or control.
ADVICE

Practice Safety and Reactions Ahead

  • Proactively practice feeling safety and recognizing your sympathetic and flight reactions before actual boundary situations.
  • Mentally rehearse reactions and pendulate between defensive activation and safety to prepare for enforcement moments.
INSIGHT

Compassionate, Connected Boundaries

  • Ventral vagal activation enables compassionate boundaries that connect with oneself and others simultaneously.
  • Boundaries can be firm yet kind when rooted in safety and compassion for the other person.
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