Former footballer Paul Merson shares his story of gambling addiction, discussing its role as escapism and the importance of understanding addiction as an illness. He reflects on the impact of his book and emphasizes the need for self-compassion and treatment. The chapter explores recovery as a lifelong journey and the challenges of finding happiness without addiction. They discuss the fear and challenges of compulsive gambling, the element of self-punishment, and the importance of self-acceptance. They also touch upon the normalization of addiction and express gratitude for the guest's openness.
Understanding addiction as an illness, not a reflection of one's character.
The importance of empathy and support from others who have experienced addiction.
The need for acceptance, self-compassion, and finding contentment in a life free from addiction.
Deep dives
Accepting Illness and Seeking Recovery
Former footballer Paul Merson opens up about his personal journey with addiction to alcohol, drugs, and gambling. He emphasizes the importance of accepting that he is ill and not a bad person, and the ongoing effort to get well. He highlights the struggle of compulsive gambling and the difficulties in understanding and empathizing with this addiction. He shares his experience of writing a book to help others who may be going through similar challenges. He also discusses the importance of self-reflection, self-compassion, and understanding the difference between being unwell and being a bad person.
The Challenges and Complexities of Addiction
Paul Merson discusses the complexities of addiction and how it impacted his life as a successful footballer. He talks about the ever-present self-punishment and self-loathing that drove him to continue his destructive behavior. He reflects on the difficulties of living with addiction, the constant highs and lows, and the toll it took on his mental health. He also emphasizes the importance of seeking help, finding empathy and understanding from others who have gone through similar experiences, and the ongoing journey of recovery.
The Role of Acceptance and Living in the Moment
Paul Merson shares his perspective on the importance of acceptance and living in the present moment. He highlights the need to accept oneself as an ill person rather than a bad person, and the significance of self-compassion and self-love. He talks about the challenges of finding contentment in a more peaceful and normal life, compared to the constant highs and lows of addiction. He also touches on the societal judgment and lack of understanding surrounding addiction, emphasizing the need for empathy and compassion.
The Impact of External Judgment and the Power of Kindness
Paul Merson discusses the harmful effects of external judgment, particularly in the age of social media, and the importance of not judging others without walking in their shoes. He shares his personal experience of being judged based on his addiction and how it affected him. He emphasizes the need for kindness and understanding in society and urges people to be more compassionate towards others, regardless of their circumstances. He also talks about the societal responsibility of raising awareness about addiction and mental health.
The Journey of Recovery and the Importance of Support
Paul Merson reflects on his ongoing recovery journey, acknowledging the challenges he has faced and the importance of seeking support. He shares his experience with addiction relapses and the need to continue working on recovery one day at a time. He emphasizes the significance of support groups like Gamblers Anonymous and the value of being around people who understand his struggles. He also discusses the importance of self-awareness and the acceptance that recovery is not a linear process.
Gambling addictions are not well understood; former footballer Paul Merson is hoping to change that by sharing his own story. In this chat with Fearne, Paul explains why his having a gambling addiction really isn’t about the money. It’s about escapism, and experiencing extreme highs and lows.
He also talks through the role that lying plays in addiction, and the relationships and practical coping mechanisms that now help him tackle one day at a time. It’s taken him many decades, but he now understands that addiction is an illness, and doesn’t make him a bad person.
Paul’s book, Hooked: Addiction and the Long Road to Recovery, is out now.
CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains frank chat about suicidal thoughts, as well as gambling, alcohol, and drug addiction, so do take care while listening.