The Gray Area with Sean Illing The price of keeping secrets
Jul 18, 2022
In this intriguing talk, Michael Slepian, a Columbia Business School professor and author of 'The Secret Life of Secrets', delves into the psychology of secret-keeping. He explores why we conceal certain truths and the emotional toll it takes, including feelings of shame and isolation. The conversation highlights how secrecy can impact trust and relationships, the delicate balance between privacy and betrayal, and the liberating nature of sharing hidden truths. Slepian also emphasizes the importance of choosing the right confidant to foster deeper connections.
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Slepian's Family Secret
- Michael Slepian learned a family secret that his father was not biologically his.
- This personal experience intertwined with his research, highlighting the impact of secret-keeping.
The Burden of Secrets
- Slepian's research revealed that the difficulty of secrets lies not in concealing them during conversations.
- The challenge stems from the recurring mental revisiting and questioning of the decision to keep the secret.
Defining Secrecy
- Secrecy is defined as the intention to withhold information, not the act itself.
- This means even unmentioned secrets impact us, as our minds can fixate on the intention.
