The Gray Area with Sean Illing

The price of keeping secrets

Jul 18, 2022

In this intriguing talk, Michael Slepian, a Columbia Business School professor and author of 'The Secret Life of Secrets', delves into the psychology of secret-keeping. He explores why we conceal certain truths and the emotional toll it takes, including feelings of shame and isolation. The conversation highlights how secrecy can impact trust and relationships, the delicate balance between privacy and betrayal, and the liberating nature of sharing hidden truths. Slepian also emphasizes the importance of choosing the right confidant to foster deeper connections.

52:32

Episode guests

Michael Slepian

AI Chapters

Episode notes

Intro

4min

The Emotional Weight of Secrets

12min

The Dilemma of Secrets and Betrayal

3min

The Secrets We Keep

11min

The Emotional Toll of Secrets

4min

The Burden and Liberation of Secrets

12min

Choosing the Right Confidant

3min

The Emotional Journey of Revealing Secrets

3min

Sean Illing talks with professor Michael Slepian, author of The Secret Life of Secrets. This new book explores secret-keeping behavior and its consequences, as well as how secrecy relates to trust. Sean and Michael talk about what things we keep secret, why we're so worried about keeping them secret, and the toll that secret-keeping can have on us. They also talk about how the issue of secrecy relates to authenticity, and our fears of being judged by others.

Host: Sean Illing (@seanilling), Interviews Writer, Vox

Guest: Michael Slepian (@michaelslepian), author; professor, Columbia Business School

References:

The Secret Life of Secrets: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are by Michael Slepian (Crown; 2022)
"Why the Secrets You Keep Are Hurting You" by Michael Slepian (Scientific American; Feb. 5, 2019)
"Spill the Beans" by Olga Khazan (The Atlantic; July 8, 2015)
"Keeping Secrets Isn't So Bad for You After All — With One Exception" by Olivia Campbell (New York; May 3, 2017)

Enjoyed this episode? Rate Vox Conversations ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ and leave a review on Apple Podcasts.

Subscribe for free. Be the first to hear the next episode of Vox Conversations by subscribing in your favorite podcast app.

Support Vox Conversations by making a financial contribution to Vox! bit.ly/givepodcasts

This episode was made by:

Producer: Erikk Geannikis
Editor: Amy Drozdowska
Engineer: Patrick Boyd
Deputy Editorial Director, Vox Talk: Amber Hall

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts

Save insights instantly, chat with episodes, and build lasting knowledge - all powered by AI.