In this engaging discussion, psychologist Ethan Kross, director of the Emotion & Self Control Lab, explores the fascinating world of our inner dialogue, or 'chatter.' He reveals how this self-talk can influence our emotions and relationships, and offers insights into harnessing it for personal growth. Kross emphasizes the importance of distancing oneself from negative thoughts and shares tools like mental time travel and immersing in nature as effective ways to manage anxiety. Discover how to tame that inner voice for better well-being!
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Ethan Kross's Experience with Chatter
Ethan Kross received a threatening letter, causing intense chatter and anxiety.
He paced his house with a baseball bat, worried for his family's safety, highlighting chatter's negative impact.
insights INSIGHT
Negative Emotions and Communication
Negative emotions intensify inner dialogue and the urge to talk to others, seeking support and perspective.
Shame and trauma are exceptions, often leading to withdrawal instead of sharing.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Venting vs. Seeking Perspective
Avoid simply venting without seeking perspective or solutions.
Venting can strengthen bonds but doesn't resolve the underlying issue, potentially leading to co-rumination.
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The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
Ethan Kross
In *Chatter*, Ethan Kross delves into the silent conversations we have with ourselves, examining how these internal dialogues shape our lives, work, and relationships. Kross, drawing from his own lab research and real-world case studies, explains how negative self-talk (referred to as 'chatter') can have detrimental effects on our health, mood, and social connections. However, he also provides tools and strategies to manage and harness this inner voice positively. These tools include techniques such as zooming out to gain perspective, using the second person to increase psychological distance, and leveraging the power of nature and placebos. The book is a comprehensive guide on how to transform negative self-talk into a constructive and supportive inner voice.
We all talk to ourselves all the time. This kind of inner dialogue can be a good thing, helping us focus and work through problems, but it can also go off the rails, turning into worry and negative rumination.
My guest today calls this negative self-talk "chatter," and in a book of the same name he outlines how to get a handle on it. His name is Ethan Kross, he's a psychologist and the director of the Emotion & Self Control Lab, and we begin our conversation with the way introspection can be both good and bad, and the function of the voice in our heads. We discuss why negative emotions make us want to reach out to other people, and how this impulse can be harnessed in either a positive or detrimental way. We then unpack how managing the way we talk to ourselves really comes down to zooming out and getting distance from the self, and how this can be accomplished with a variety of tools, from engaging in a kind of time travel to going out into nature.
The Art of Manliness 
