Andy Salkind, a depression survivor, shares how a simple message from a friend saved his life. The podcast explores the importance of checking in on friends, the power of a quick text, and strategies for reaching out to others. It also highlights stories of design companies helping others and the positive ripple effect of maintaining connections.
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Quick takeaways
Regularly checking in on friends, even when they seem fine, helps establish a stronger connection and support system.
Surprising acts of kindness and unexpected check-ins can have a stronger positive impact on someone's mood.
Deep dives
Importance of Checking in on Friends
Andy Salkin shares his experience of being more actively involved in his friendships, checking in on his friends regularly and being persistent in his efforts. He believes that reaching out to friends, even when they seem fine, helps establish a stronger connection and support system. Happiness research shows that frequent check-ins can have a positive impact on both the person reaching out and the recipient, fostering happier and closer friendships.
Barriers to Reaching Out
Psychologist Peggy Lou discusses the misconceptions and barriers that prevent people from checking in on their friends. Many people assume that others are fine and don't need support, and they worry about appearing pushy or annoying. Peggy's research reveals that these assumptions are often wrong, and people tend to appreciate heartfelt messages and gestures more than expected. She suggests keeping messages brief, periodically checking in on friends, and finding natural opportunities to reach out.
The Power of Surprising Gestures
Peggy Lou's research shows that surprise plays a significant role in how a recipient interprets a message or gesture. Surprising acts of kindness and unexpected check-ins can have a stronger positive impact on someone's mood. Overcoming the reluctance to reach out is crucial, even if it has been a long time since the last contact. Peggy suggests considering the recipient's perspective and the warmth of the interaction rather than solely focusing on competence.
Andy's Transformation and Saving a Life
Andy Salkin's personal story highlights the transformative power of reaching out to friends. After receiving a simple message at a dark moment, Andy decided to stop hiding his depression and share what he was going through. His persistence in checking in on friends and being an active friend has brought him closer to others and increased his own happiness. Andy's experience emphasizes the importance of reaching out, even during difficult times, as it can make a significant difference in someone's life.
When did you last check in on a friend? Maybe the last time you did, their reply was terse or non-existent. Perhaps months or years have passed and you feel awkward about reestablishing contact? Or you might worry they're busy and you're just bothering them?
Andy Salkind tells Dr Laurie Santos that you should forget your worries - and just TEXT THEM!
After all, a simple message from a friend saved his life.
WARNING: This episode deals with depression and suicidality. If you’re based in the US, you can call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Similar services are available in pretty much every other country. So, if you need help, please, please reach out.