Expert in pathological narcissism, Ross Rosenberg, discusses codependency, the dynamic between narcissists and codependents, detaching from narcissists using his technique 'observe, don't absorb', love bombing, and the potential for narcissists to change. They also explore healing trauma, building healthy relationships, and provide resources for support.
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Quick takeaways
Codependents often end up with narcissists due to their core shame and self-love deficits, understanding this can help codependents break free from toxic relationships and heal their wounds.
Narcissists rely on induced conversations to keep codependents entangled in their relationships, codependents can neutralize this tactic by observing rather than absorbing the narcissist's provocations.
Deep dives
The Definition of Codependency
Codependency, or self-love deficit disorder, involves giving all love, respect, caring, trust, and protection in a relationship with the hope of reciprocation. However, codependents often end up with narcissists due to their core shame and self-love deficits. Understanding this can help codependents break free from toxic relationships and heal their wounds.
Avoiding Induced Conversations
Narcissists rely on induced conversations to keep codependents entangled in their relationships. They provoke arguments, disagreements, and fights to maintain control. Codependents can neutralize this tactic by observing rather than absorbing the narcissist's provocations. This means not allowing the narcissist to enter their emotional space and recognizing the manipulative nature of induced conversations.
The Trap of Love Bombing
Love bombing is a manipulative technique used by narcissists to reel codependents back into the relationship. It involves showering codependents with affection, tenderness, and compliments to recreate the initial idealized phase of the relationship. However, codependents need to recognize that this love bombing is invasive, predatory, and meant to trick and entrap them. By not absorbing the love bombing and recognizing it as a manipulative ploy, codependents can resist being pulled back into toxic relationships.
I am so excited for frequent-flyer guest, Ross Rosenberg, to be back on the show. Ross is an expert in pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and attachment trauma. He is also the CEO of the Self Love Recovery Institute.
We cover so much: Ross's definition of codependency, why codependents and narcissists are attracted to one another, how to detach from a narc (Ross's technique is called "observe, don't absorb"), why narcissists try to induce conversations, love bombing, and so much more.