Charles Duhigg, bestselling author of 'The Power of Habit' and 'Supercommunicators,' dives into the art of difficult conversations. He emphasizes how effective communication can transform relationships—be it in marriage or politics. Duhigg shares techniques like 'looping for understanding' to enhance dialogue and the importance of asking deep questions to foster intimacy. He also explores connecting shared values and emotions to navigate tough political discussions, highlighting empathy as a vital tool for productive dialogue in divisive times.
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The Love Shrinks Study
Researchers videotaped couples arguing to study marital conflict.
They found that all couples fight, but happy couples communicate differently.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Duhigg's Marital Miscommunications
Charles Duhigg shares his personal experience with communication issues in his marriage.
He explains how miscommunication led to arguments and frustration with his wife.
insights INSIGHT
Types of Conversations
Every discussion comprises multiple types of conversations: practical, emotional, and social.
Recognizing these different types is key to effective communication.
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In this book, Charles Duhigg explores the secrets of 'supercommunicators' who excel at connecting with others. He delves into the three distinct types of conversations—practical, emotional, and social—and provides practical strategies and case studies to illustrate how to recognize and navigate these conversations effectively. The book includes examples from various contexts, such as jury deliberations, CIA recruitments, and workplace interactions, to demonstrate how communication can be improved. Duhigg emphasizes the importance of active listening, identifying complex emotions, and matching the type of conversation to enhance connection and understanding.
The Power of Habit
Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
Charles Duhigg
In this book, Charles Duhigg explores the science of habit formation and change. He explains the 'habit loop' consisting of a cue, a routine, and a reward, and how understanding this loop can help in changing bad habits or forming good ones. The book includes numerous examples from various fields, such as how Procter & Gamble successfully marketed Febreze, how Alcoa transformed its business by focusing on safety, and how individuals like Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps and civil-rights hero Martin Luther King, Jr. benefited from specific habits. Duhigg argues that by harnessing this science, individuals and organizations can transform their lives and businesses[2][4][5].
Life is a series of conversations. Our relationships, friendships, marriages, breakups, makeups, hirings, promotions, and firings are mostly the story of two people talking. And many of these conversations are hard or uncomfortable. Sometimes we spend years refusing to be honest with the people we know the best because we’re afraid of telling them how we feel. What if we all had such confidence in our own powers of communication and understanding that we didn’t fear these hard conversations at all? What if we welcomed them?
Charles Duhigg, the author of 'The Power of Habit,' has a new book out this week. It’s called 'Supercommunicators.' Duhigg’s book is about how to talk when talking is hard. Today we talk about the art and science of difficult conversations, from romantic relationships to political persuasion, and what he discovered to be the most important principles of having a great and emotionally resonant discussion.
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Plain English with Derek Thompson 
