Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

1703: [Part 1] When Your Partner Isn't Sure They Want a Future With You by Tonya Lester

Apr 1, 2023

Tonya Lester, a psychotherapist in Brooklyn, NY, discusses what to do when your partner isn't sure they want a future with you. She reflects on challenges of commitment, being treated unfairly, and making sacrifices without resolution in relationships.

10:11

Episode guests

Tonya Lester

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Quick takeaways

Don't wait to be someone's top priority in a relationship, as inconsistent behavior and insecurity indicate no future with that person.

Understanding one's attachment style can reveal patterns of behavior and decision-making in relationships.

Deep dives

Valuable Lesson from Childhood

The author shares a valuable lesson her father taught her in childhood, which is to never wait to be in someone's top spot. This lesson influenced her decision to end a relationship in her twenties with a person who showed inconsistent behavior, leaving her insecure and obsessing over the relationship. She realized that there was no future with this person, which ultimately proved to be a bullet dodged.

Understanding Relationship Patterns and Childhood Influence

01:02

Introduction

2min

When to Be Patient and When to End the Relationship

4min

Reflections on Relationships: When Your Partner Isn't Sure They Want a Future With You

4min

Tonya Lester talks about what to do when your partner isn't sure they want a future with you. This is part 1 of 2.

Episode 1703: [Part 1] When Your Partner Isn't Sure They Want a Future With You by Tonya Lester

Tonya Lester, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in Brooklyn, NY. She graduated from New York University with a Master's degree in Social Work. Her post-graduate training includes a fellowship at Psychoanalytic Theory at the Institute for Psychoanalytic Theory and Research (IPTAR) and supervised practice in Psychodynamic Therapy under Drs. C.E. Robins and John Broughton. She completed training in IFS with Dick Schwartz, Nancy Sowell, and Pam Krause. Her training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) was with John Forsyth, Ph.D. She studied RLT with its creator, Terry Real.

The original post is located here: https://www.tonyalester.com/blog//when-your-partner-isnt-sure-they-want-a-future-with-you

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