Psychology at Work | Career Success, Leadership, Communication Skills 46. Can't Stop Checking If Your Boss Is Happy With Your Work? Here's Why
May 28, 2025
Are you constantly checking if your boss is happy with your work? Discover how this habit can drain your confidence and lead to self-doubt. The discussion highlights the distinction between managing up and seeking approval. Learn why relying on your boss’s feedback can leave you unsatisfied. Explore the 'filter not sponge' approach to improve how you respond to others' input. Plus, understand how declaring your worth can sometimes become a trap rather than a strength.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Approval Seeking Steals Your Agency
- Constantly checking if your boss is happy erodes your agency and ties your success to their mood.
- Melody Wilding says this shifts focus from doing the work to managing someone else's reaction.
Approval Seeking Is A Learned Safety Strategy
- Approval seeking is a learned strategy your brain uses to stay safe and liked.
- Relying on other people's responses builds self-worth on things you cannot control.
Reading The Room Can Become Harmful
- The very skill of reading the room that helped you advance can become overused and exhausting.
- Attentiveness turns into mental gymnastics when it replaces internal judgment.
