80k After Hours Highlights: #149 – Tim LeBon on how altruistic perfectionism is self-defeating
Jul 13, 2023
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How Negative Beliefs Self-Perpetuate
- Low self-esteem and perfectionism persist because people interpret the world as if their negative belief is 100% true.
- That interpretation shapes behavior that sometimes makes the negative belief come true, sustaining the cycle.
Use Reverse Feedback For Emotional Balance
- Do set up reverse feedback loops: be more self-compassionate when you feel bad and lower self-expectations.
- Do temper confidence when you're overly optimistic to avoid future disappointment.
Record Positive Evidence Daily
- Do keep a positive data log that records achievements contradicting negative self-beliefs.
- Do actively challenge cognitive distortions like discounting the positive and mind reading.