

ALAIN DE BOTTON: WHY MAKING FRIENDS AS AN ADULT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE (BUT ISN'T)
19 snips Sep 2, 2025
In this lively discussion, Alain de Botton, the founder of The School of Life and author, delves into the often tricky world of adult friendships. He unpacks why vulnerability is crucial for deepening connections and how to move past superficial interactions. Topics include overcoming sexual tension, the importance of honest communication, and how to embrace loneliness to foster richer relationships. Alain also argues that sometimes, letting go of friends can create space for new bonds, emphasizing that true closeness requires intentional effort.
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Personal Exercises That Deepened Bonds
- Jamie asked his mum five deep questions and received moving, candid answers about pride and regrets.
- He also ran a stag-do circle memory exercise that created a lasting emotional connection.
Depth Requires Room For Hurt
- Friendship depth requires allowing space for hurt and darkness between people.
- Admitting friends will hurt each other is essential to deepen intimacy.
Time And Unstructured Moments Matter
- Deep friendships need spare time and loose shared experiences to form.
- Adult life’s schedules and static meetups reduce chances for real friendship.