34 - How Our Need to Belong and Matter Influence Codependency

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Aug 27, 2024

Dive into the exploration of how our deep-rooted need for belonging and mattering shapes our lives. Discover the connection between these emotional needs and codependency, illustrated through a powerful story. The discussion also reveals God as a redeemer, encouraging listeners to present their pain for healing. Personal analogies and metaphors shed light on the challenges of receiving love while highlighting the significance of early emotional connections for personal growth. It's a heartfelt journey towards understanding self-worth and embracing vulnerability.

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INSIGHT

The Bucket of Belonging and Mattering

Every child is born with a bucket representing their need to belong and matter.
This bucket has no holes initially, symbolizing a complete capacity to receive love and affirmation.

INSIGHT

Courage Needs Encouragement

Courage is born at birth as full-hearted participation in life.
This courage needs regular encouragement by others to be replenished and sustained.

INSIGHT

Codependency as Disorder of Rejection

Codependency arises when caregivers cannot tolerate children's feelings, causing anxiety attachment.
The child performs to make the caregiver's face look better, seeking acceptance through external control.

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The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). To consult or setup a session with Bryan, you can e-mail bryan@vothcenter.com.

Episode highlights:

The Boy & The Ogre: Finding Freedom from Codependency by Chip Dodd

God is a great garbage man; He wastes nothing in our lives.

God values His own creation;
He picks up what we throw away, and
He recognizes that some things need to be redeemed, repurposed, revitalized and resurrected.

Bring your child-heart to God and give Him your pain, suffering, and your struggle, and even your questions. God can deliver you. He delivers people through circumstances, prayer, His word, other people, and illumination of your heart.

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength,” Ephesians 1:18-19

Paul was a man who knew that to love, is to suffer. Therefore, he needed a place to take his suffering. Paul refers to God in this passage:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

So, we can either choose to believe that while God is good, we still suffer; yet we have a place to take our suffering. We can take it to God, who cares for us.

We will stifle suffering unnecessarily, and just live miserably.

The Boy & The Ogre: Finding Freedom from Codependency by Chip Dodd

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. ‘Eat and drink!’ he says to you, but his heart is not with you.”

Proverbs 23:7

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

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