Modern Wisdom #884 - Nick Pollard - How To Stop Being Such A People Pleaser
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Jan 2, 2025 
Nick Pollard, known as “The People Displeaser,” is a coach and speaker dedicated to overcoming people-pleasing behaviors. In this discussion, he explores the origins of people-pleasing, linking it to childhood experiences and emotional enmeshment. Pollard emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say 'no' for self-identity. He also addresses feelings of inadequacy, the impact on mental health, and the challenges men face in expressing vulnerability. Ultimately, he encourages listeners to embrace self-discovery and prioritize their own needs.
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People-Pleasing: Optic Management
- People-pleasing is about managing others' perceptions and prioritizing their needs.
- It stems from a feeling of not being enough and a need for external validation.
Childhood Origins of People-Pleasing
- Nick Pollard describes a common childhood scenario for people-pleasers: one overly involved parent and one distant or abusive parent.
- This dynamic teaches children that pleasing others prevents abandonment and secures their needs.
The "No" Game
- To rewire your brain's value system, try a "no" game.
- For seven days, say "no" to everything, then reconsider after 90 seconds.
