A military veteran shares her experience of co-parenting with her partner and his ex-wife, her time being deployed with 400 men, and how rugby and a book led her to serve. They also discuss the impact of 'The Kite Runner', food resolutions, working with veterans, and the importance of understanding the military experience.
Playing rugby in college led the speaker to join the military and shaped her perception of fitness.
Co-parenting with a former military comrade's ex-spouse requires frequent travelling and balancing personal lives.
The speaker's deep connection to the military remains strong even after leaving the service, and she continues to support veterans in her current role.
Deep dives
From Rugby to the Military: A Life-Changing Journey
Growing up in a poverty-stricken region of Appalachia, the speaker's life took a turn when she joined the military at the age of 20. Prior to this, she discovered the importance of exercise and fitness through playing rugby in college. Joining the military in 2008, the speaker's deployment to Afghanistan brought about a mix of emotions and experiences. While the trauma and boredom of deployment took a toll, there were also moments of connection and beauty with the Afghan people. Throughout her time in the military, the speaker formed a close bond with a fellow soldier, who later became her partner. Co-parenting with their ex-spouse, this unconventional arrangement involves frequent flights and driving between different locations. Meanwhile, the speaker, now working at a VA medical center, continues to navigate her personal and professional involvement with the military, reflecting on the challenges and rewards along the way.
Building Unconventional Relationships: Navigating Co-Parenting and Romance
In the midst of a transition from a long-term relationship, the speaker found unexpected chemistry with a former military comrade's ex-spouse. Despite the unique circumstances, they decided to pursue a romantic relationship and embarked on the journey of co-parenting together. This new dynamic presents the challenge of balancing their personal lives with the responsibilities of raising children who live in different locations. While some may find the situation unconventional, the speaker emphasizes their commitment to making it work and prioritizing the well-being of the children involved.
Reflecting on Military Service: Guilt, Personal Growth, and Moving Forward
Having concluded her military service in 2019, the speaker continues to work closely with veterans, reflecting on her own experiences in Afghanistan. The recent withdrawal from Afghanistan in 2022 brought about feelings of guilt and questions about whether enough was done. Memories of the people she encountered during her deployment, including interpreters, translators, and the Afghan people, resurface, leaving the speaker pondering the impact of her presence and the lives of those she interacted with. Despite the challenges and uncertainties, the speaker has come to accept her deep connection to the military and remains dedicated to supporting veterans in her current role.
Joining the Army Reserves and the National Guard
Joining the Army Reserves allows individuals to serve their state and country. Each state has its own National Guard that can be activated in times of natural disasters or to assist in other states. Deployment was a possibility when signing up due to the ongoing conflicts at the time. The decision to deploy can be influenced by personal factors, such as feeling connected to the unit and influenced by external factors, such as books.
Challenges and Impact of Deployment
Deployment to Afghanistan involved facing various challenges. Being the only woman in a camp of 400 men presented safety concerns and instances of sexual harassment. The deployment also resulted in the experience of a traumatic event, which led to emotional and mental health struggles. The complexity of the military and civilian divide is highlighted, with the importance of civilians understanding the sacrifices and experiences of veterans emphasized.
A military veteran calls to talk with Gethard about co-parenting with her partner and his ex-wife who she was deployed with years ago. But this call goes in some directions neither she nor Geth expected. They talk about how rugby and one specific book led her to serve, what it was like being the only woman among 400 men while deployed, and how she thinks about the time she spent in Afghanistan today.
