Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

This week’s caller is a medieval recreationist who sews their own centuries-old clothing and has an overactive bladder. And that’s just scratching the surface. And that’s just scratching the surface. From homemade centuries-old clothing to body stuff to one wild reveal with two minutes left, this episode is a non-stop ride through one person’s delightfully specific world. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Warby Parker has over 270 locations to help you find your next pair of glasses. You can also head over to WarbyParker.com/BEAUTIFUL right now to try on any pair virtually! Visit Upwork.com to post your job for free and connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. Stick to the staples that last—with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to joindeleteme.com/ BEAUTIFUL and use promo code BEAUTIFUL at checkout. 

Good morning! For reasons no one can quite explain, Beautiful/Anonymous has a long and proud tradition of attracting band directors, and this week’s caller keeps the streak alive. She and Gethard talk about everything from what makes trombonists so goofy to figuring out which woodwinds are the biggest divas. Oh, and also: the time she found out her long-term partner was sneaking around on a foot fetish website. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Tackle your to-do list today and get 15% off your first task at TASKRABBIT.com or on the Taskrabbit app using promo code ANONYMOUS. Feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets, at BollAndBranch.com/beautiful Stick to the staples that last—with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to joindeleteme.com/ BEAUTIFUL and use promo code BEAUTIFUL at checkout.

It’s 9 pm on a Friday, and the vibes are loose. This week’s caller is a former teacher turned novelist-in-progress who’s found fulfillment in writing, volunteering, and caring for the true love of her life: an elderly, disabled bearded dragon named Charlie. Sure, she and Gethard also talk about volunteer paleontology, dating with autism, and how Geth ties into her broken ankle, but at the end of the day, this is a call about a bearded dragon named Charlie. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Start your initial free online visit today at forhers.com/BEAUTIFUL Get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus get FREE shipping. Text BEAUTIFUL to 64000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Stick to the staples that last—with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Warby Parker has over 270 locations to help you find your next pair of glasses. You can also head over to WarbyParker.com/BEAUTIFUL right now to try on any pair virtually!

A new master’s degree, a recent family death, and...13 secret second cousins? This week’s caller is processing a wild year of grief, discovery, and chaotic family history, including one grandma-sized scandal and a mom who always kept things interesting. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Head to wellnesstogether.org/allhandsondeck to learn more about the people and places meeting mental health needs in creative, community-rooted ways, building connection, care, and lasting change. For the dad who deserves better than basic—Quince has you covered. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to joindeleteme.com/ BEAUTIFUL and use promo code BEAUTIFUL at checkout.  Feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets, at BollAndBranch.com/beautiful Get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus get FREE shipping. Text BEAUTIFUL to 64000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.  

A strict religious upbringing, an older husband, and an open marriage she never expected. This week’s caller talks with Gethard about how she got there and how she’s finally building a life that actually feels like hers. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Head to wellnesstogether.org/allhandsondeck to learn more about the people and places meeting mental health needs in creative, community-rooted ways, building connection, care, and lasting change. For the dad who deserves better than basic—Quince has you covered. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Give the “dads” in your life a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth! Right now, save $10 during their Father’s Day sale when you go to Storyworth.com/beautiful Warby Parker has over 270 locations to help you find your next pair of glasses. You can also head over to WarbyParker.com/BEAUTIFUL right now to try on any pair virtually! 

A 911 dispatcher calls in to walk Gethard through the ins and outs of emergency dispatch. From how calls get prioritized, to the systems that keep everything moving, there’s a lot more happening behind the scenes than people realize. It’s a fascinating look at a job most of us only think about in a crisis. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad-free episodes and access to exclusive audio, including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on our new TikTok: @beautiful.anonymous Head to wellnesstogether.org/allhandsondeck to learn more about the people and places meeting mental health needs in creative, community-rooted ways, building connection, care, and lasting change Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEAUTIFUL Start your initial free online visit today at forhers.com/BEAUTIFUL for your personalized hair loss treatment options. Elevate your closet with Quince. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.   

This week’s caller became a U.S. citizen hours before the call, so naturally, she gives Gethard an impromptu citizenship test. They cover life as a Canadian transplant in the South, share their love for ‘80s wrestling, and reflect on what it really means to be an American. She also hints at a near-kidnapping story, but you’ll have to head to beautifulanonymous.com to hear that. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad-free episodes and access to exclusive audio, including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller. Head to wellnesstogether.org/allhandsondeck to learn more about the people and places meeting mental health needs in creative, community-rooted ways, building connection, care, and lasting change. Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on our new TikTok: @beautiful.anonymous Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Get 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets, at BollAndBranch.com/beautiful Visit Upwork.com to post your job for free and connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEAUTIFUL Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to joindeleteme.com/ BEAUTIFUL and use promo code BEAUTIFUL at checkout. Get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus get FREE shipping. Text BEAUTIFUL to 64000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.

From Neptune to everywhere and back again. Our caller is in love, looking for joy, and figuring it out along the way. This one’s silly, heartfelt, and a little all over the place, just the way we like it.  Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on our new TikTok: @beautiful.anonymous Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Get fifteen percent of your first purchase at FastGrowingTrees.com using the code BEAUTIFUL at checkout. Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to joindeleteme.com/ BEAUTIFUL and use promo code BEAUTIFUL at checkout. Shop Mother’s Day at Quince. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Warby Parker has over 270 locations to help you find your next pair of glasses. You can also head over to WarbyParker.com/BEAUTIFUL right now to try on any pair virtually!

Gethard is finally taking a well-earned, long-overdue vacation. But we’re not leaving you hanging. Instead, we brought in a past caller/frenemy of the show who knows exactly what makes a great Beautiful/Anonymous call. If you’ve been around for a while, you know Parade Girl as the caller who somehow cracked our phone system and sparked a whole saga. This week, she ends up chatting with a caller who shares her and Gethard’s birthday and who gives her a taste of her own medicine. Geth’ll be back next week. In the meantime, enjoy this weird little break from our regularly scheduled programming. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on our new TikTok: @beautiful.anonymous Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Start your initial free online visit today at forhers.com slash BEAUTIFUL Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to joindeleteme.com/BEAUTIFUL and use promo code BEAUTIFUL at checkout. Text BEAUTIFUL to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/beautiful!

On the way to a hockey game where they're being honored for their non-profit work, this week’s caller explains the tension it’s caused with their day job in military behavioral health. They talk with Gethard about finding purpose, joy, and free tickets to cool stuff. Sign up for Beautiful/Anonymous+ to get ad free episodes and access to exclusive audio including 5 Random Questions with this week’s caller.  Follow Beautiful/Anonymous on our new TikTok: @beautiful.anonymous Head to punchup.live/chrisgethard for tickets to That Show hosted by Gethard at UCB Theatre. Leave us a voicemail at (973) 306-4676 Get fifteen percent of your first purchase at FastGrowingTrees.com using the code BEAUTIFUL at checkout. Visit Upwork.com right now to post your job for free and connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. Text BEAUTIFUL to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to Quince.com/beautiful for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order.