Moment 136: 3 VITAL Questions To Ask Yourself If You're Feeling Trapped In Life (Relationships, Work & Financially): Adam Alter
Nov 17, 2023
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Adam Alter, professor of marketing and best-selling author, discusses how to become unstuck in life, work, and relationships. He suggests considering the opportunity cost of leaving a goal behind and emphasizes the importance of perseverance beyond the point of difficulty for growth. To become unstuck, he recommends simplifying problems through a friction audit, identifying and addressing obstacles in life and work.
Recognizing and acknowledging feelings of being stuck is the first step towards finding a solution.
Perseverance is often beneficial, but it's important to assess progress and consider quitting if little to no progress is made towards the desired outcome.
Deep dives
Identifying Different Areas of Stuckness
Many people experience being stuck in various aspects of their lives, such as relationships, jobs, and creative pursuits. This can range from being financially stuck to feeling stuck in a specific skill or idea. Recognizing and acknowledging feelings of being stuck is the first step towards finding a solution.
Understanding the Subjectivity of Feeling Stuck
Feeling stuck is subjective, and each individual's perception of being stuck varies. While someone may consider themselves stuck in a situation, like Malcolm Gladwell's father being unable to solve a math puzzle for 30 years, they might not view it negatively and actually enjoy the process. Therefore, it's essential to understand the emotional aspect of being stuck and realize that it may not always be as significant as it seems.
Perseverance, Knowing When to Quit, and Opportunity Cost
The relationship between perseverance, knowing when to quit, and opportunity cost varies depending on the situation. There are arguments for both sides: persevering and quitting. However, research suggests that perseverance is often beneficial. It's important to assess the progress made towards an end goal and evaluate if the gap between the current state and the desired outcome is diminishing over time. If progress is minimal or non-existent, it may be an indication that quitting is necessary. Considering the potential opportunities and alternatives can help in deciding whether to continue or move on.
In this moment, professor of marketing and best-selling author, Adam Alter discusses how to become unstuck in life, work and relationships. The first thing is to understand what it actually means to become stuck, this often means judging whether to keep going with a particular path or to quit. In these instances Adam thinks it is best to think about the opportunity cost of leaving a goal behind, especially as research shows that it is nearly always a good idea to keep going beyond the point where it starts becoming hard as this is where growth happens. However, too often we quit as we view any sort of difficultly as a problem. One of the key ways that Adam thinks we can become unstuck is by simplifying a problem as much as possible, we can do this through what he calls a friction audit. This means knowing what is and isn’t important, what’s getting in the way, and how you can subtract it.