The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

When You Can't Understand Why You KEEP Making Similar, Destructive Choices

Oct 6, 2023

30:54

Snipd AI

Explore the connection between childhood trauma and destructive relationships, as the speaker shares their personal experience of rushing into relationships and ignoring warning signs. They share stories of getting involved with problematic men, including an abusive relationship and an entanglement with a friend in an open marriage. The host responds to a listener struggling with a compulsive response to narcissistic individuals, exploring dissociation and love addiction. They emphasize the importance of recovery, finding a sponsor, and following instructions for healing and recovery from trauma and addiction.

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Quick takeaways

Childhood trauma can lead to a pattern of seeking out partners who are trouble.

The subconscious desire to make the next relationship work can drive addictive behavior and hinder the ability to recognize warning signs.

Deep dives

Addiction to Troubled Relationships

Many people who have experienced childhood trauma are drawn to partners who are trouble. This can result in a pattern of tolerating destructive behaviors and overlooking warning signs. This behavior is often driven by a subconscious desire to make the next relationship work, leading to a cycle of addiction. The podcast letter shares the story of Clara, who has a history of emotionally abusive and unrequited love interests. Clara's past trauma and lack of boundaries contribute to her attraction to problematic men. Despite recognizing red flags, she continues to engage in unhealthy relationships, leaving her baffled and seeking understanding.

Introduction

2min

Repeating Patterns with Problematic Men

8min

Understanding Compulsive Response to Narcissistic Individuals

16min

The Importance of Recovery and Finding a Sponsor

3min

The Importance of Following Instructions and Accepting Help for Healing and Recovery

2min

It’s normal for people who were traumatized as children to be drawn to people who are trouble. Maybe feel foggy when you meet someone you feel attracted to, or you rush into relationships, and you ignore signs that getting together with this person is a really bad idea. It's normal for people with CPTSD to feel confused when they are confronted with evidence that someone would be bad for you; it's as if your brain shuts down and then you make the destructive decision to go forward anyway. The illusion is that this string of unfortunate events just HAPPENED to you (you can't see that you chose it). And when enough trauma and enough heartbreak has happened, the need for that next relationship to WORK OUT becomes so great, it’s like an addiction. It’ll drive you toward your worst thinking, and right into that same unhappiness. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who just might be a love addict.

Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW

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Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com

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