Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson Ep. 23: Stop Punishing Yourself
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Jun 13, 2018 Discover the metaphor of first and second darts, exploring how our reactions often inflict more pain than the original events. Learn how criticism can spiral into rumination, causing unnecessary suffering. The hosts share strategies to manage these reactions, stressing the importance of shifting focus towards gratitude and strengths. They delve into how our second darts can impact relationships and suggest practical ways to reduce conflict. Embrace resilience and navigate away from self-punishment for a happier life!
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Suffering Often Comes From Reactions
- Most suffering comes from our reactions to pain, not the painful events themselves.
- Rick Hanson highlights the Buddha's "arrow" metaphor to show how second darts multiply suffering.
One-Star Review vs. Rumination Spiral
- Rick gives examples of criticism and workplace mistakes leading to spiraling self-talk and catastrophe thinking.
- He contrasts a few minutes of reasonable upset with hours of rumination that create far more suffering.
Accept Pain Without Resistance
- Accept first-dart pain and allow it to pass rather than resisting it.
- Hold the pain in mindful awareness so it grounds out instead of fueling further suffering.
