The emotional complexities of staying friends with exes are laid bare, exploring why many find it tempting yet ultimately unrealistic. Insights reveal how such relationships can hinder healing and personal growth, while lingering emotions complicate new connections. The importance of setting clear boundaries is emphasized, along with the need for closure to foster a healthier emotional landscape. Personal anecdotes provide a candid perspective on shifting views about ex-friendships, advising listeners to prioritize their well-being.
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insights INSIGHT
Revised Perspective on Ex-Friendships
Jemma Sbeg revisits a past episode on friendships with exes, admitting her changed perspective.
She now believes such friendships are usually unhealthy and detrimental to personal growth.
insights INSIGHT
Why We Seek Ex-Friendships
People often hope to stay friends with exes to avoid the pain of complete separation.
This is especially true in breakups without a major catalyst, making the transition harder.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Reactance Theory in Action
Jemma shares a friend's experience of regaining feelings for an ex after the breakup.
This illustrates reactance theory, where losing something makes it seem more desirable.
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Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
Marisa G Franco
In 'Platonic,' Dr. Marisa G. Franco explores why modern society often undervalues friendship, leading to an epidemic of isolation. She provides a clear and actionable blueprint for forging strong, lasting connections using insights from attachment theory and the latest scientific research on friendship. The book addresses topics such as understanding one's attachment style, the myth that friendships happen organically, and the importance of effort in making and deepening friendships. It also highlights the impact of friendship on overall health and happiness, and offers practical advice and real-life stories to help readers improve their connections with others.
Person in Progress
A Road Map to the Psychology of Your 20s
Jemma Sbeg
This book serves as a roadmap for understanding and navigating the chaotic personal and professional moments of one's twenties. Jemma Sbeg, host of the podcast 'The Psychology of Your 20s', provides advice, personal stories, and research-based insights to help readers deal with issues such as imposter syndrome, self-sabotage, anxiety, and relationship challenges. The book includes questions and self-guided moments for reflection in each chapter, aiming to enhance the reader's self-growth journey and make the most of this formative decade.
A lot of us try to convince ourselves we can be friends with our ex in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, but is that necesserily the best idea? In 2022 I did an episode with my ex-boyfriend talking about how a friendship was totally possible, well since then it is obvious to say that I have changed my mind, and in this episode I give my reasons, including:
Why we (mistakedly) try to stay friends with our exes
The types of relationships where this feels possible
The consequences
How it impacts our new relationships, self esteem, and ability to find closure
How to be friends with an ex if you MUST BE
Essential boundaries for a friendship with your ex
This episode is the only time I have redone/revised an episode so we hope you enjoy.
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor.
The Psychology of your 20s 
