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Modern Wisdom
#739 - Dr Robert Glover - The Lifetime Problem With Being A “Nice Guy”
Feb 1, 2024
01:51:18
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Therapist and author Dr. Robert Glover discusses the problem with being a 'nice guy', exploring its negative impacts, including people-pleasing, resentment, and lack of personal growth. He also delves into the struggles of 'nice guys', such as anxiety, perfectionism, and self-sabotage. The podcast explores the importance of healthy boundaries, living life on one's own terms, and the significance of first sexual experiences. It also touches on societal expectations, the impact of trauma, and finding support for personal growth.
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Quick takeaways
- Being a Nice Guy involves trying to meet others' expectations, seeking approval, and hiding one's needs, wants, and sexuality.
- Nice Guys often have unspoken and unconscious agreements, known as covert contracts, with the world.
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The Problem with Being a Nice Guy
Being a Nice Guy involves trying to meet others' expectations, seeking approval, and hiding one's needs, wants, and sexuality. This stems from an inaccurate belief that one is not okay as they are. Nice Guys often lack authenticity and struggle with being untrustworthy, frustrated, resentful, and passive-aggressive. By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys are often untruthful to themselves and others. This prevents them from living up to their full potential and pursuing their own desires and happiness.
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