How to Be Awesome at Your Job

1022: How–and Why–to Stop Overapologizing with Shira Miller

Jan 9, 2025

Shira Miller, an award-winning keynote speaker and Chief Communications Officer at National DCP, discusses the perils of overapologizing. She shares how excessive apologies can undermine personal and professional confidence, particularly for women. Shira offers five actionable steps to curb this habit and tackle self-doubt caused by negative self-talk. Listeners will enjoy her insights on cultivating self-worth and fostering a positive work environment, all while empowering themselves to own their achievements.

35:29

Episode guests

Shira Miller

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Over-apologizing can undermine personal and professional confidence, leading to the perception that one's contributions are less valuable.

Implementing strategies like reframing language and tracking unnecessary apologies can significantly enhance self-esteem and communication dynamics.

Deep dives

Understanding Apology Speak

Over-apologizing often signals a lack of confidence, undermining one's true capabilities. Individuals may not realize that their language diminishes their accomplishments, leading to perceptions of weakness. To combat this, it is suggested to consciously remove unnecessary apologies from conversations, particularly in situations known to trigger such behavior. Experimenting with this approach can result in significant boosts in self-esteem and alter the dynamics of interactions in both personal and professional settings.

Intro

3min

The Pitfalls of Over-Apologizing

19min

Conquering Self-Doubt

5min

Breaking the Cycle of Over-Apologizing: A Transformative Journey

2min

Empowering Yourself by Stopping Over-Apologizing

4min

Wellness and Optimism in the Workplace

5min

Shira Miller reveals the harmful effects of overapologizing—and shares powerful advice for owning your greatness.

— YOU’LL LEARN —

1) How overapologizing hurts you personally and professionally

2) Five steps to stop unnecessary apologies

3) How to tame your inner saboteur

Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1022 for clickable versions of the links below.

— ABOUT SHIRA —

Shira Miller is an award-winning keynote speaker, Certified Executive Coach, author of Free and Clear: Get Unstuck and Live the Life You Want and works as the Chief Communications Officer of National DCP, the $3 billion supply chain company serving Dunkin’ franchisees. The two-time TEDx speaker, who delivered a talk called Stop the Apology Speak, has helped thousands of leaders instill optimism and purpose at work, stop making unnecessary apologies, eliminate self-sabotage and own their greatness.

• LinkedIn: Shira Miller

• Website: ShiraMiller.com

• TEDx Talk: Stop the Apology Speak

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW —

• Study: “When and Why Women Apologize More than Men” by Karina Schumann

• Study: “Mind the Gap” by KPMG

• Researcher: Maja Jovanovic

• Book: Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness

• Past episode: 366: Mastering Conversations through Compassionate Curiosity with Kwame Christian

• Past episode: 500: Building Unshakeable Self-Esteem and Confidence with Victor Cheng

• Past episode: 699: Redefining Success for More Fulfilling Days with Brad Stulberg

— THANK YOU SPONSORS! —