Join Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of 'The Self-Driven Child', as he shares insights from his extensive experience in child development. He emphasizes the importance of giving children autonomy to foster self-confidence and intrinsic motivation. The conversation highlights how parents can be a 'non-anxious presence' to help kids navigate their emotions and build resilience. Stixrud discusses balancing support and independence, letting children pursue their passions, and the transformative power of trusting their decisions.
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insights INSIGHT
Control Links To Mental Health
Low sense of control underlies mental health problems in children and teens.
Fostering autonomy in kids helps build intrinsic motivation and mental well-being.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Support Child Problem Solving
Let children try to solve problems independently before stepping in.
Support them with questions or suggestions instead of taking control.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Daughter’s Stuttering Story
William’s daughter stuttered severely and stopped after a few days without intervention.
His panic showed how parental anxiety about the future deeply affects children.
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The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives
Ned Johnson
William Stixrud
This book combines insights from clinical practice, educational coaching, and cutting-edge brain science to address the chronic stress and lack of motivation many children face. Stixrud and Johnson argue that giving children more control over their lives is crucial for their development, as it enhances their motivation, resilience, and overall well-being. The authors provide practical advice on how parents can act as consultants rather than controllers, helping children develop inner drive and intrinsic motivation through autonomy, competence, and relatedness. The book also discusses the negative effects of excessive parental control and external motivators, and offers actionable steps for parents to implement in their daily lives[2][3][5].
What Do You Say?
How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home
Ned Johnson
William Stixrud
In 'What Do You Say?', William Stixrud and Ned Johnson offer a comprehensive guide on how to communicate effectively with children. The book focuses on defining and demonstrating the basic principles of listening and speaking, and provides new ways to handle specific, thorny topics such as delivering constructive feedback, discussing technology boundaries, explaining sleep and brain function, addressing anxiety about current events, and family problem-solving. The authors emphasize the importance of treating parents as consultants rather than managers, encouraging children to make their own decisions, and maintaining a positive communication ratio to foster a supportive and resilient family environment.
In this encore episode, Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of "The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives." Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led to conclusions that complement and support Janet's own parenting philosophy, especially topics such as encouraging self-confidence, intrinsic motivation, and inner-directedness. And since many of Bill's clients have been with him from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, he has the benefit of seeing the results of his practice.
Bill and Janet discuss the value of giving our kids opportunities to make choices, discover and pursue their passions, and the challenges and benefits of being a non-anxious presence (because our "calm is contagious").
Dr. Stixrud is the founder of The Stixrud Group, a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled 
