Elevator Systems - Bowen Family Systems Theory

S3 Ep5 Dating with Joe Berger

Aug 5, 2025
Guest
Joe Berger
Join therapist Joe Berger, a faculty member at the Vermont Center for Family Studies, as he shares insightful strategies for modern dating. He explores how focusing on personal goals and self-awareness enhances romantic experiences. The conversation touches on the influence of family dynamics and societal pressures, especially for those re-entering the dating scene post-divorce. Berger emphasizes the importance of keeping dating fun and curious while maintaining authenticity and personal growth throughout the journey.
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INSIGHT

Focus on Self in Dating

  • A Bowen theory approach to dating focuses on understanding and maintaining clarity about oneself rather than concentrating on the other person.
  • Authenticity and tolerance of rejection are critical to showing up genuinely in dating.
INSIGHT

Family & Societal Influences

  • Multigenerational family dynamics affect how people behave and what they expect from dating and partnerships.
  • Pressure from family and society can increase anxiety and influence relationship choices.
INSIGHT

Solid Self Versus Pseudo Self

  • Recognizing whether you like a person or simply like being liked is vital to preserving authenticity in relationships.
  • Balancing personal values and flexibility is crucial to avoid losing oneself for the sake of being liked.
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